Selected lines and quotes from the tv show Weeds. Check out our great collection of dialogues and quotes from the tv series Weeds and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.
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Is it true what they say? That once a white woman's been with a carpenter she never goes back?
Baby, once I nail something, it stays nailed.
(talking about the fire he stared) And it goes like that, just over and over, all the way south to Mexico. (nods his head forward)
(whispering to his ear) You're facing west.
See, I could use you. You tell me which way is south. (rubbing against her) You be my navigator.
Hand off the as*.
(while Peter and Nancy hum the UM theme) We visited my dad's grave today.
(stops) Oh. I--
Are you a fa*?
What? It was just a question.
Heylia's a lazy fat-fat and I'm hoping to put her in a diabetic coma, so I have no problem selling to her.
Hey! Hey! Stop all that da** arguing, this is a house of peace. (Interrupted by gun shots and bullets) Everybody all right?
Cool. Snowflake? Snowflake?
She's in shock, slap her.
I ain't slappin' no white woman.
Move, I'll do it.
No, I'm okay (in a very shaky voice)
all right, let's clean this sh** up.
(Giggling a little) Is somebody gonna call the police?
Baby, that probably was the police.
I'm gonna go. Wait, I need my keys.
We got unsettled business, you haven't even talked to me about my car yet. How you gonna get your keys now?
Boy! The girl just had her shootin' cherry broke, give her the keys.
(on the two disparate ways a suburban house and a ghetto house are attacked) sh**, white folks get soda pop; ni***** get bullets.
(On the News) I haven't seen Chester, oh that's my cat, in 2 days. Umm, I dunno though, would a big cat eat a smaller cat? I mean, isn't that cat cannibalism?
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