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The Mighty Boosh quotes

Vince Noir: (digging in a small paper bag) Do you want something to eat?
Howard Moon: Yeah, actually. I'm quite hungry.
Vince Noir: I've got it all in here. Ultra Violets. Flying Saucers. Strawberry Bootlace. C'mon. Get involved.
Howard Moon: Have you got any food?
Vince Noir: Yeah. Satin Zingers...
Howard Moon: No, like *real* food -
Vince Noir: ...Neptune Fizz.
Howard Moon: - you ever heard of rice?
Vince Noir: I've heard of Rice Krispies.

The Moon: One time, I saw a man looking at me, yes, with his eyes. And then, he, he picked up a tube. And he looked, in the tube, and he made the moon big, inside the tube. The moon big inside a tube! (laughs)

Bob Fossil: What are you doing, Moon?
Howard Moon: Uh, just reading.
Bob Fossil: Yeah? Well, I got a problem with the black-and-white people at the zoo.
Howard Moon: Who?
Bob Fossil: You know, the black-eyed Chinese people that eat sticks.
Howard Moon: The pandas.
Bob Fossil: "Oh! I'm Howard Moon! I know how to read! I know all the animals' names at the zoo!"... Yeah, the pandas.

Mr Susan: If you choose wrongly you will replace me here in the mirror world for all eternity with nothing but your own reflection for company...
Vince Noir: Sounds alright to me.
Mr Susan: What? Staring at your own reflection forever?
Vince Noir: Sounds great.

Vince Noir: (to locksmith) You haven't seen my mate Howard, have you? Kinda tall, scruffy hair, small eyes like a crab?

Howard Moon: I don't accessorize. I'm Howard Moon. There's a simple truth to me.

Howard Moon: (into tape recorder) Howard Moon's journal, day four. Many men have searched for the egg of Mantumbi. Many have failed. One man shall succeed. And I, Howard Moon, shall be that man.
Howard Moon: (gets hit in the face with snowball)
Vince Noir: (laughs)
Howard Moon: Stop doing that!
Vince Noir: What?
Howard Moon: It's not funny.
Vince Noir: It's hilarious!
Howard Moon: It isn't! Do it again, and I'll come at you like a buzzard.
Vince Noir: Come on, Howard, let's go, it's not 'round here.
Howard Moon: Stop tugging me mink! I'm not going anywhere. The egg is around here, I can sense it.
Vince Noir: Did you say mink?
Howard Moon: Yeah.
Vince Noir: That's not very P.C, is it? You're supposed to be a zookeeper!
Howard Moon: This is the arctic, Vince. Different rules apply out here, you know? It's kill or be killed.
Vince Noir: What, by a mink?
Howard Moon: ...They get very big out here, the mink. This is just one mink, this whole outfit.
Vince Noir: No way.
Howard Moon: It's true!
Vince Noir: No way! I read a pamphlet!
Howard Moon: So? I once looked at a hedge. What's your point?
Vince Noir: It was a mink pamphlet. Mink Monthly, there were loads of 'em, on the front. Said in there, it takes about nine, eight mink to make a small ladies' glove.
Howard Moon: That's because they're really cr** at sewing.
Vince Noir: (Vince laughs)
Howard Moon: You like that?
Vince Noir: That's quite good, yeah.

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