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The Big Bang Theory quotes

Sheldon Cooper: Look, I found my missing neutrino.
Howard Wolowitz: Oh, good. Now we can take his picture off the milk carton.

Sheldon Cooper: (after touching the bird) I did it! I actually did it... Okay, now flush him.

Sheldon Cooper: I believe I would like to alter the paradigm of our relationship.
Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm listening.
Sheldon Cooper: With the understanding that nothing changes, whatsoever. Physical or otherwise. I would not object to us no longer characterizing you as not my girlfriend.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Interesting. Now, try it without the quadruple negative.
Sheldon Cooper: You're being impossible. (Amy leans over to Stuart)
Amy Farrah Fowler: Hi, Stuart!
Sheldon Cooper: Fine! (Amy leans back again) Amy... Would you be my girlfriend?
Amy Farrah Fowler: Yes.

Sheldon Cooper: All right, Pointdexter, sit down and listen!
Leonard Hofstadter: What?
Sheldon Cooper: That's how my father started our football conversations. If you want, I'll take you outside and teach you how to shoot a raccoon so close it craps itself.

Officer Shin: I'm sorry for your loss, but the Pasadena Police Department doesn't have jurisdiction in... Pandora.
Sheldon Cooper: That's from Avatar! World of Warcraft takes place in Azeroth. Goodness gracious, how are you allowed to carry a gun?

Sheldon Cooper: At this point I should inform you that I intend to form my own team, and destroy the molecular bonds that bind your very matter together, and reduce the resulting particulate chaos to tears.
Leonard Hofstadter: Thanks for the heads up.
Sheldon Cooper: You're welcome. (starts to leave) One more thing.
Leonard Hofstadter: Yes?
Sheldon Cooper: It's on, bi***.

Sheldon Cooper: (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny...
Penny: What?
Sheldon Cooper: (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. Zucchini bread.
Penny: Ooh. Thank you!
Sheldon Cooper: May I come in?
Penny: No.
Sheldon Cooper: Y - I see. Apparently, my earlier inquiry regarding you and Leonard crossed some sort of line. I apologize.
Penny: Aw, thank you.
Sheldon Cooper: So have you and I returned to a social equilibrium?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon Cooper: Great. New Topic. Where are you in your menstrual cycle?
Sheldon Cooper: I've been doing some research online and apparently, female primates - you know, apes, chimpanzees, YOU - they find their mate more desirable when he's being courted by another female. Now, this effect is intensified when the rival female, is secreting the pheromones associated with ovulation. Which brings me back to my question; where are you...
Sheldon Cooper: (Penny slams door on his face) Clearly I'm 14 days too early.

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