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Thank God You're Here quotes

Tv Network Executive: Now, you're all going to need to have a police check done, of course, because you'll be working with children. Now...
Frank Woodley: Right! (drops prop, walks through the blue door and continues walking until he disappears completely off-stage - he isn't going to get his police check done; he means that he's not prepared to have one done and is walking out of the scene altogether!)

Ensemble Cast: These products are all good, as the slogan says...
Fifi Box: If you can do it, you can!

Ensemble Cast: Tina, what's the letter of the week?
Shaun Micallef: The letter of the week is from Alfred Gurnes.

Glenn Robbins: Let's just say, she's not great at coming up with ideas. She's much better; Ken and I think you'll agree when I say this, at making love.
Ensemble Cast: Ken the non-conqueror, but Ken the wise, tell me, some say the earth is round.
Frank Woodley: Ha!
Ensemble Cast: Some say the earth is flat. But you say it is neither. Why?
Frank Woodley: Well, I've got a hunch. Because I think it's like a big skateboard ramp and you head off up into the nothingness, do a bit of a trick and come back. That didn't make any sense, lets get into the raping!
Glenn Robbins: He's not great with the ideas!
Ensemble Cast: Enough! We only have time to pray now. And we must pray to mighty Thor, mighty Oden, please I ask of thee. Give me wisdom.
Ensemble Cast: I ask of thee strength. (points at Glenn)
Glenn Robbins: I ask of thee...
Akmal Saleh: He's not great with ideas either!

Himself - Host: Frank, how are you feeling?
Frank Woodley: I'm feeling... I'm feeling... I'm feeling... good! Not cocky, but just feeling, well actually you know what? I'm feeling like I'm a spider of entertainment. That's because I'm going to weave a web of comedy from stuff I just pull out of my bu*.

Kids Tv Show Co-Host: (into camera) Hello girls and boys! My name is Tina... (turns to Shaun for him to introduce himself)
Shaun Micallef: (pause) Yes. Yes it is. I can vouch for that.
Kids Tv Show Co-Host: (to Shaun, prompting) And what's YOUR name?
Shaun Micallef: (pause) It's also Tina, as it happens.

Frank Woodley: (after attempting to kiss Ed Kavalee) I was ten years in a cave!

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