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Southland quotes

Officer Ben Sherman: (struggling with a man) A little help?
Officer John Cooper: What do ya think boot? You think that Paco there is gonna say thank you?

Ofcr. John Cooper: Look sharp, act sharp, be sharp. These guys comin' out of prison - they're buff, been on drugs. You do what they teach you in the academy, you *will* die. Knucklehead wants to take your gun, so if it's you or some 300-pound naked guy on PCP, you take his as* down any way you can - you ride with me, you back your badge.

Ofcr. Ben Sherman: All right, all right, no - you wanna know? All right, I was ten - my mom, she's a little, uh... she's a little fragile. My dad walks out on her... and these drug dealers that he represented, they broke into the house. They beat the hell out of her - I mean, just... I went to defend her, and they knocked out my teeth. And after that, I... I had some trouble sleeping, so... so I learned to shoot, right? End of story. Now will you get off my back?
Ofcr. John Cooper: ...My old man was a bigger as*- - than that.
Ofcr. Ben Sherman: Is he dead?
Ofcr. John Cooper: Nope...
Ofcr. John Cooper: (laughing quietly) No, he's, uh... he's around. He's in prison.
Ofcr. John Cooper: He raped and murdered someone... You have a good night.

Skylar Joel: Hell was that?
Det. Russell Clarke: Bean bag.
Skylar Joel: Please, don't shoot me with that again.
Ofcr. John Cooper: Don't go pullin' knives on cops.
Skylar Joel: I've been shot, I have been stabbed, and that *hurt*, man.

Det. Russell Clarke: (looking into a jewelry case) 'Scuse me - how much does somethin' like this go for?
Lana Schmidt: Thirty thousand - that's art deco platinum, diamonds and sapphires; you shopping for someone in particular?
Det. Russell Clarke: (deflated by the price) No, just curious.
Det. Lydia Adams: So how many employees do you have?
Lana Schmidt: Uh, mostly it's just me. I have two sales associates and a setter.
Det. Russell Clarke: Do they have access to your customer database?
Lana Schmidt: Honey, it's the information age; *everyone* has access to *everything*.

Officer Ben Sherman: You don't have a Sally story?
Officer John Cooper: (smirks) No.
Officer Ben Sherman: My car's parked at her place. (Sally honks car horn) And I could really use a massage after I tackled that dude.
Officer John Cooper: You're a glutton for punishment.
Officer Ben Sherman: You guys are just jealous.
Officer John Cooper: You have been warned my friend. You have been warned.
Officer Ben Sherman: What can I say? Love's a bi*** ese. See ya tomorrow.

Officer Danny Ferguson: (to the guy shooting up the station) Hey, as*****!

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