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Selected lines and quotes from the tv show South Park. Check out our great collection of dialogues and quotes from the tv series South Park and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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South Park quotes

Ms. Garrison: Okay kids, looks like we only have time for one more speech today, so let's have, uh, Eric.
Cartman: Thank you, Ms. Garrison. My speech is entitled "Ginger Kids". Children with red hair, light skin, and freckles. We've all seen them. On the playground, at the store, walking on the streets. They creep us out, and make us sick to our stomachs. I'm talking, of course, about Ginger kids. (slide projector clicks) Aw, sick! Gross! Ginger kids are born with a disease, which causes very light skin, red hair and freckles. (projector clicks) Aw, nasty, yuck!
Kyle Broflovski: What?
Cartman: This disease is called "Gingervitis". Kids who have Gingervitis cannot be cured. (projector clicks) Aw sick! (click) Gross! (click) Yuck! Because their skin is so light, Ginger kids must avoid the sun. (class ooooohs)
Kyle Broflovski: That's not true, fat as*! I have red hair, and I don't have to avoid the sun.
Cartman: I was getting to that if you'll let me. Some people have red hair, but not light skin and freckles. These people are called daywalkers.
Butters Stotch: Ooooooh, Daywalkers!
Kyle Broflovski: This is all a bunch of cr**!
Cartman: Ms. Garrison, I'm really having a difficult time with all these interruptions.
Kyle Broflovski: People aren't creeped out by gingers!
Butters Stotch: I am.
Ms. Garrison: Kyle, if you want to debate Eric, you can do so with your paper tomorrow.
Kyle Broflovski: Fine, I will!
Cartman: Fine, in the meantime, shut your go***** Daywalker mouth!
Kyle Broflovski: Grrrrrrrr!
Cartman: In conclusion, I wil leave you with this. If you think that the ginger problem is not a serious one... (click) think again!

A.A. Director: Do you know anything about A.A?
Stan Marsh: Yeah, and I also know something about cults. I used to be the leader of one for a while.

Eric Cartman: You guys are hella stupid.
Stan Marsh: Why do you keep saying 'hella", Cartman?
Eric Cartman: 'Cuz I'm hella cool, that's why.

Mayor: Eric, your word is "chair."
Cartman: Um, could you use it in a sentence?
Mayor: Something you sit on.
Cartman: Language of origin?
Mayor: English!
Cartman: Could you please use it in a sentence?
Mayor: Oh, for Christ's sake, kid, the word is "chair!"
Cartman: "Chair." C-H-A-R-E. (buzzer sounds) Goddamnit! (furiously, as he leaves the stage) GET OVER HERE YOU SONOFABITCH FONICS MONKEY!

Chef: Children, can you ever forgive me? (the children, battered and wounded after the last round, glare at him)
Chef: Oh, come on!

Mr. Garrison: (returning from the bathroom) I must have caught the flu from Kenny. I've got the green apple splatters.

Barbra Streisand: You know who I am, don't you?
Officer Barbrady: Well, you ain't Fiona Apple, and if you ain't Fiona Apple, I don't give a rat's as*.

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