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Do you realize in the entire history of western civilization no one has successfully accomplished the Roommate Switch? In the Middle Ages you could get locked up for even suggesting it.
They didn't have roommates in the Middle Ages.
Well, I'm sure at some point between the years 800 and 1200, somewhere, there were two women living together.
Million to one shot doctor, a million to one!
I'm sorry, but I can't be with someone whose protege is a hack.
I'm sorry, but I can't be with someone whose mentor is a Costanza.
What is this thing, anyway?
It's Cornish game hen.
What is that? Like a little chicken?
It's, uh, it's not a little chicken. (laughs) "Little chicken." It's a game bird.
What do you mean? Like, you hunt it?
How hard could it be to kill this thing?
(waiting in restaurant) You know, it's not fair that people are selected first come, first served. It should be based on who's hungriest!
Doesn't the fat fetish conflict with the minimalism?
You're not gonna believe what I got in the mail: invitation to Sue Ellen Mischke's wedding.
Well, at least the wedding gown will give her some support.
Not the point. The wedding is in one week; I got this today.
So you think it's a non-vite.
It's an un-vitation.
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