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Selected lines and quotes from the tv show Seinfeld. Check out our great collection of dialogues and quotes from the tv series Seinfeld and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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Seinfeld quotes

George Costanza: Do you realize in the entire history of western civilization no one has successfully accomplished the Roommate Switch? In the Middle Ages you could get locked up for even suggesting it.
Jerry Seinfeld: They didn't have roommates in the Middle Ages.
George Costanza: Well, I'm sure at some point between the years 800 and 1200, somewhere, there were two women living together.

Frank Costanza: Million to one shot doctor, a million to one!

Jerry'S Girlfriend: I'm sorry, but I can't be with someone whose protege is a hack.
Jerry Seinfeld: I'm sorry, but I can't be with someone whose mentor is a Costanza.

Frank Costanza: What is this thing, anyway?
Mrs. Ross: It's Cornish game hen.
Frank Costanza: What is that? Like a little chicken?
George Costanza: It's, uh, it's not a little chicken. (laughs) "Little chicken." It's a game bird.
Frank Costanza: Game bird?
George Costanza: Yeah.
Frank Costanza: What do you mean? Like, you hunt it?
Mr. Ross: Yes...
Frank Costanza: How hard could it be to kill this thing?

Elaine Benes: (waiting in restaurant) You know, it's not fair that people are selected first come, first served. It should be based on who's hungriest!

Jerry Seinfeld: Doesn't the fat fetish conflict with the minimalism?

Elaine Benes: You're not gonna believe what I got in the mail: invitation to Sue Ellen Mischke's wedding.
Jerry Seinfeld: Well, at least the wedding gown will give her some support.
Elaine Benes: Not the point. The wedding is in one week; I got this today.
Jerry Seinfeld: So you think it's a non-vite.
Elaine Benes: It's an un-vitation.

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