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Selected lines and quotes from the tv show Scrubs. Check out our great collection of dialogues and quotes from the tv series Scrubs and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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Scrubs quotes

Elliot: Listen, Carla, I can't even pretend that I can give you tips on intercourse...
Carla: I got one for you: stop calling it that.
Elliot: My therapist thinks my trouble in bed stems from a basic fear of intimacy. But I just think it's just because any type of repetitive motion makes me nauseous. Oh, and since I was a little kid, I've always had nightmares about being crushed.
Carla: That poor shrink.

Dr. Elliot Reid: I cannot believe what I just heard!
Dr. Perry Cox: The tick-tocking of your biological clock leading you to the corner of Celibate and Spinster way?

Janitor: (JD is at the reception desk, sad) Girl problems?
J.D.: How did you know?
Janitor: Well, you look like you've got problems, you're a girl. Hence, girl problems. Watch your nails. (Slams down hinged door)

J.D.: See, Turk and I made a pact. The day that one of us got married we'd play a last round of tennis-golf in the parking lot as single best friends. Oh, yeah, and the guy getting married has to caddy for the other guy naked

Jordan Sullivan: You know, one of the reasons I divorced Perry was because of his last name.
Elliot: You don't like Cox?
Jordan Sullivan: Actually I love Cox.
Todd Quinlan: (walks up, knocks on table) Greatest conversation ever.

J.D.: Dr. Kelso. The doc here has been telling me that you have some great stories. I wouldn't mind hearing one sometime.
Dr. Kelso: Oh what the hell. Back in '68 I don't like you. The end.

Dr. Elliot Reid: I told you guys to leave it alone.
Nurse Carla Espinosa: Oh, would you stop being so proud?
Dr. Elliot Reid: I'm proud? Carla! After the wedding, you wouldn't even take Turk's name!
Nurse Carla Espinosa: I use it for official things!
Dr. Elliot Reid: Letting him call you Mrs. Turk in the bedroom isn't official.
Dr. Christopher Turk: But it is officially hot!
Dr. Elliot Reid: And Turk, you freaked out when the hernia patient listened to me over you. And J.D.! You just let the entire hospital pummel you with tennis ba*** because you were too proud to admit you didn't know what "Jiggly Ball" was.

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