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Selected lines and quotes from the tv show Rules of Engagement. Check out our great collection of dialogues and quotes from the tv series Rules of Engagement and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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Rules of Engagement quotes

Russell Dunbar: Where have you been? It's 3 minutes till curtain.
Audrey Bingham: I know, I'm sorry. I had to blow Jeff off and it took longer than I expected.
Russell Dunbar: What did you think? The guy isn't 18 anymore.
Audrey Bingham: Blow him off, As in not go to the boat show with him.
Russell Dunbar: Hah, you know, I thought...
Audrey Bingham: Yeah I know what you thought.

Audrey Bingham: Are those crumbs on your face? Oh my God, you ate the bu** pie?
Jeff Bingham: It was paid for.

Adam Rhodes: You look like a banker in a bad po***.
Russell Dunbar: Like there's such a thing as a bad po***.
Adam Rhodes: Well the one that you lent us last week was... bad.
Jennifer: Us? We didn't watch any po***
Adam Rhodes: Were... Were you not there?

Jeff Bingham: Huh, ten more minutes, nice!

Jeff Bingham: Hey.
Audrey Bingham: Hey! Oh good, you're home. Listen, I was talking to some people...
Jeff Bingham: Oh, wow wow wow! I... just walked in the door, if we're gonna talk I gotta get a can of listening juice.

Audrey Bingham: He has this whole other side that is cultured and kind and sensitive but he won't show it to you cause he's afraid you'll make fun of him
Russell Dunbar: Thank you, I'm a dead man.
Audrey Bingham: No. No you are not. Jeff, please tell him you're not gonna tease him.

Jeff Bingham: Let me say that I swear on the souls of my grandchildren that I will not be the one who breaks the peace we have made here today.
Adam Rhodes: Why is he looking at me?
Jeff Bingham: The Godfather?
Adam Rhodes: Oh... No, never saw it.
Jeff Bingham: You've never seen The Godfather?
Audrey Bingham: Oh, here we go.
Adam Rhodes: No, my parents were hippies... They didn't want me to see anything too violent.
Jeff Bingham: Then close your eyes cause I'm gonna punch you in the face.

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