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Selected lines and quotes from the tv show My Name Is Earl. Check out our great collection of dialogues and quotes from the tv series My Name Is Earl and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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My Name Is Earl quotes

Randy Hickey: I bet he's had twenty beers today. That's how many I had when I tried to plug the television into that dog.

Earl Hickey: He's awake now so I threw him in the bath with a bar of soap.
Randy Hickey: What did he look like naked?
Earl Hickey: Kinda like ET when they found him by the river.
Randy Hickey: That poor little monkey, he just wanted to phone home.

Frank: Oh whatever, I'm the only person in the room who really knows you. I mean, who was there when your aunt what's-her-name died.
Billie: You mean my mom?
Frank: Yeah, her.

Earl Hickey: These hamburgers are great.
William: Thanks. It's Black Angus.
Randy Hickey: I don't think I can eat it now that I know the cow's name.

Earl Hickey: (looking for escaped prisoner) Okay look, we have 46 hours, Frank couldn't have gotten that far. Where's the ice cream store?
Randy Hickey: It's the one next to the train station and that costume store, near the bong shop where they make the fake IDs. We just have to look for a guy who could be dressed as anything and whose anywhere train might go.

Randy Hickey: You takin' Pops' hot dogs outta Camden County is like taking chicken out of Syracuse.
Earl Hickey: It's Buffalo, Randy.
Randy Hickey: No, I'm pretty sure it's chicken, Earl.
Joy Turner: Yeah, it's chicken. Hot chicken!

Earl Hickey: (voice over) This wasn't the first time a woman kicked me in the cherries and called me a rat but it was the first time I didn't mind.

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