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Modern Family quotes

Jay Pritchett: Back in '68, when I was sweeping up hair in that barbershop, I had this mental picture of the family that, if I was lucky enough, I would end up with. Perfect wife, perfect kids... Well guess what? I didn't get any of that. I wound up with this sorry bunch. And I'm thankful for that every day. Well, most days.

Manny Delgado: I know what all of you are thinking: my jacket is wrinkled. I would have ironed it, but someone here thought it would be a great idea to use the iron to make a grilled cheese sandwich.
Luke Dunphy: I had bread. I had cheese. I had an iron. What was I supposed to do?

Glen Whipple: I just thought you would be with Claire Pritchett.
Phil Dunphy: You remember Claire?
Glen Whipple: Oh, yeah. I used to be so jealous of you.
Phil Dunphy: You were jealous of me?
Glen Whipple: Sure. Claire Pritchett, with that blonde hair and those blue eyes, and that great smile... I can just picture her smiling right now.
Phil Dunphy: I can.
Glen Whipple: I wonder who landed her? Lucky son of a bi***.
Phil Dunphy: Yeah. Lucky.

Phil Dunphy: You know, the Native Americans believed that burning sage kept away the negative energy.
Jay Pritchett: How'd that work our for 'em?

Mitchell Pritchett: My trophy is a professional award given to me by my peers, while your trophy was given to you on a pier.

Mitchell Pritchett: Hey Cam, does the gardener usually work on Saturdays?
Cameron Tucker: I don't know, he comes when we need him - he's like Batman, but straight.

Manny Delgado: She's had the intellectual, she's had the romantic, why not both in one little brown package?

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