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Selected lines and quotes from the tv show Modern Family. Check out our great collection of dialogues and quotes from the tv series Modern Family and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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Modern Family quotes

Jay Pritchett: Back in '68, when I was sweeping up hair in that barbershop, I had this mental picture of the family that, if I was lucky enough, I would end up with. Perfect wife, perfect kids... Well guess what? I didn't get any of that. I wound up with this sorry bunch. And I'm thankful for that every day. Well, most days.

Manny Delgado: I know what all of you are thinking: my jacket is wrinkled. I would have ironed it, but someone here thought it would be a great idea to use the iron to make a grilled cheese sandwich.
Luke Dunphy: I had bread. I had cheese. I had an iron. What was I supposed to do?

Glen Whipple: I just thought you would be with Claire Pritchett.
Phil Dunphy: You remember Claire?
Glen Whipple: Oh, yeah. I used to be so jealous of you.
Phil Dunphy: You were jealous of me?
Glen Whipple: Sure. Claire Pritchett, with that blonde hair and those blue eyes, and that great smile... I can just picture her smiling right now.
Phil Dunphy: I can.
Glen Whipple: I wonder who landed her? Lucky son of a bi***.
Phil Dunphy: Yeah. Lucky.

Phil Dunphy: You know, the Native Americans believed that burning sage kept away the negative energy.
Jay Pritchett: How'd that work our for 'em?

Mitchell Pritchett: My trophy is a professional award given to me by my peers, while your trophy was given to you on a pier.

Mitchell Pritchett: Hey Cam, does the gardener usually work on Saturdays?
Cameron Tucker: I don't know, he comes when we need him - he's like Batman, but straight.

Manny Delgado: She's had the intellectual, she's had the romantic, why not both in one little brown package?

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