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Selected lines and quotes from the tv show Married with Children. Check out our great collection of dialogues and quotes from the tv series Married with Children and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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Married with Children quotes

Sascha: Hi Bud, it's me. Sascha. The girl you've wanted every day and night of your life since the first grade. Well I'm about to enter a convent and I wanted to be with a real man for my first, last and only time. Take me Bud, take me now!
Bud Bundy: You caught me at a bad time. Goodbye.
Sascha: Oh.

Al Bundy: (watching "The Jeffersons") Oh my God. It's Wheezy in a bathing suit!

Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: What if men had br*****?
Al Bundy: Then we wouldn't need women anymore.
Peggy Bundy: And if you had what other men had, I wouldn't need batteries anymore.
Al Bundy: That's what happened to my Diehard!

Bud Bundy: I know how we can ease the boredom. Let's play a game. One of us will say their name, and the rest of us will say their name and add something that starts with the same first letter of that name. I'll start. Bud... ball.
Anthrax Band Member: Dan... bite me!

Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: It's just that I can hardly believe that I'm now mrs...
Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: Darling. What's your last name?
Jefferson: D'Arcy
Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: (Turn slowly back towards Peggy)... Marcy D'Arcy... I'm now MARCY D'ARCY! What have I've done. Maybe I should start wearing little dresses with dots on them

Al Bundy: Yep, one more payment, and you're all mine.

Jefferson: Al, have you ever read the book, "The Man is Always Right"?
Al Bundy: No, the wife wouldn't let me.

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