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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia quotes

Mac: Dude...(reaches in mouth)
Mac: No...stop! Don't do it. Oh my God.
Mac: How? How is that possible?!?
Mac: I don't know.
Mac: Just put it down.
Mac: Do you think they're my baby teeth?
Mac: Put it with the other ones.
Mac: You're not going to be able to eat this hot dog.
Mac: I'll suck it down.

Charlie Kelly: (singing) Sharing, it's a rule now. (fart noise)

Dennis Reynolds: You bet your as* I'm wearing women's underwear!

Charlie Kelly: (singing) Night Man, sneaky and mean. Spider inside my dreams, I think I love you. You make me want to cry, you make me want to die. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, Night Man. Every night you come into my room and pin me down with your strong arms, And pin me down and I try to fight you, You come inside me and fill me up and I become the Night Man.
Mac: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Charlie. Hang on a second. I mean the first half of that song was kind of cool, but what's with the second half?
Charlie Kelly: It's about the Night Man, like, you know, like filling me up, and I become him,I become the spirit of the Night Man.
Mac: But it sounds like a song where a man breaks into your house and rapes you.
Charlie Kelly: What, dude? Where are you getting that from? Alright, (resumes singing) It's just two men sharing the night. It might seem wrong, but it's just right. It's just two men sharing each other. It's just two men like lovin' brothers. One on top, and one on bottom. One inside, and one is out. One is screaming he's so happy and the other's screaming a passionate shout. It's the Night Man. The feeling so wrong and right man, the feeling so wrong and right man. I can't fight you man when you come inside me and pin me down with your strong hands and I become the Night... the passionate, passionate Night Man.
Mac: We need a new front man...

Dee Reynolds: Trey asked me to prom last night. This is getting really weird.
Charlie Kelly: That girl Sarah asked me too.
Dee Reynolds: Are you kidding?
Mac: What? We can't go to the prom, thats pathetic.
Charlie Kelly: What do you mean "we"? Who asked you?

Mac: Maybe we should take a page out of ol' D &B's book.

Mrs. Mac: They ain't American, I don't want to know them.
Mrs. Kelly: I know. I wish they'd all go back to the desert.
Mac: It does seem like they're bonding.
Charlie Kelly: It's not really a Golden Girls type conversation, it's a racist conversation.

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