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Frasier quotes

Frasier: So, Niles, did you have a discussion with Maris?
Niles Crane: No, but I had an epiphany! I realised, cutting off my funds is Maris's way of saying, "I love you!"
Niles Crane: She always uses money to get what she wants; ergo, this is proof she wants *me* back! What do you think?
Frasier: I think Santa's said it all for us.

Daphne Moon: This whole thing reminds me of when I first moved to London. And I was very mistrusting of people back then. I was convinced, the way to stay out of harms way was to walk the streets with me eyes cast down, never meeting anyone's glance. But, finally, I decided, that was no way to live. So, one day I just lifted up me chin and took it all in. Well, the change was amazing. There were sights I've never seen, sounds I've never heard. A tiny old man came up to me with a note in his hand. He needed help. I took his note, read it, and to this day I can remember just what I said to that man. "That's not how you spell fe******."

Samantha: I hope this doesn't offend you, but I've had the most stressful day and I really don't have the energy to make a lot of small talk. Plus I'm not very hungry. Would you mind terribly if we just -
Frasier: I know where this is heading. You don't have to say it.
Samantha: Frasier, could we just go somewhere and have sex?
Frasier: Well, I'm flattered, and the thought is very tempting, but you see, on my show I'm constantly preaching that people should get to know one other, have things in common, before taking that kind of step. What's your favourite colour?
Samantha: Blue.
Frasier: Mine too, check please!

John: Well, cameras never lie and cheaters never prosper.
Frasier: And you never shut up!

Bulldog: Hey, look who's here. Hey, sweetpea, you are getting so big. Hey, look at that smile, she likes me.
Roz Doyle: She's relieved not to be the least mature person in the room any more.

Frasier: Hello, Line Two, you're on with Dr. Frasier Crane.
Mark: Uh, hey, Dr. Crane. It's Mark.
Frasier: Hello, Mark. I'm listening.
Mark: Oka. Uh, well, I work at this all-night mini-mart, and, um, I've been watching myself on the video camera, and the camera-me is doing things I don't approve of.

Martin Crane: Oh great, my kids are having plastic surgery. That's a nice age to get to.

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