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Everybody Loves Raymond quotes

Debra Barone: Only three more weeks huh?
Robert Barone: (depressed) Three more weeks.
Debra Barone: Oh come on try to say it like this. (happily) Three more weeks!
Robert Barone: Well when you put it like that it doesn't sound so bad. Here let me try. (mockingly) Bubonic plague!

Peter Macdougall: Nobody judges you on the floor of the bus station.

Debra Barone: How could you do that to me?
Ray Barone: Well, I just looked at what both candidates brought to the table, and I thought Bill Parker...
Debra Barone: Bill Parker? You hate Bill Parker!
Ray Barone: I hate Bill Parker the man, but I just thought that Bill Parker the candidate had an interesting platform
Debra Barone: Shut up! I'm your wife. I don't care if my platform was... anti-puppy. You have to vote for me.
Ray Barone: But doesn't it say in the Constitution...
Debra Barone: I don't care what it says in the Constitution! You vote for you your wife! And since you you know what it says in the Constitution?
Ray Barone: I'm not gonna stand here and let you badmouth America.

Ray Barone: You hear that?
Debra Barone: No, I don't hear anything.
Ray Barone: That's the sound of all our clothes being refolded.

Ally Barone: Daddy, what's an appointment?
Raymond "Ray" Barone: Well honey, an appointment is when two people decide to meet.
Debra Barone: Like going to the dentist.
Ally Barone: Oh.
Raymond "Ray" Barone: So, sleeping with me is like going to the dentist?
Debra Barone: Well, we both say the same things. "Sit back, relax, you won't feel a thing".

Marie Barone: You never even sent a gift
Alda: My gift was that I came at all
Marie Barone: What kind of a horse's as* gift is that?
Alda: You'd be lucky to have a horse's as*!

Robert Barone: I could of been a pretty good hockey player. I was big, I had the toughness, good hand-eye coordination.
Ray Barone: Yeah, but eventually you would've had to let go of the side.

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