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Selected lines and quotes from the tv show Curb Your Enthusiasm. Check out our great collection of dialogues and quotes from the tv series Curb Your Enthusiasm and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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Curb Your Enthusiasm quotes

Larry David: Ya know, I really don't like not driving. You should've let me drive.
Cheryl David: It's my car.
Larry David: Well, on the way back, I'm gonna drive.
Cheryl David: Why?
Larry David: I don't feel I have a personality in this seat.
Cheryl David: Pfft.
Larry David: No, really. I feel very dull.
Cheryl David: Mm-hm.
Larry David: Do you want me to sing or do you want the uh, radio?
Cheryl David: I think I'd rather choose the radio.
Larry David: All right. (turns it on, cassette starts playing) What is this, a tape?
Larry David: What are you doing with a tape? I thought you only...I thought you only buy CDs.
Cheryl David: Um, actually a friend loaned it to me.
Larry David: Who is this?
Cheryl David: It's Al Green.
Larry David: Who gave you this tape?
Cheryl David: Brad. It's good, isn't it?
Larry David: "You oughta to be with me"? Is that what he's saying?! "You oughta be with me"! That's what--that's what he's singing about?!
Cheryl David: What is wrong with you?
Larry David: What the--wait, Brad gives you a tape? An Al Green tape? "You oughta be with me"?

Jeff Greene: (just snubbed due to his baldness) This blows. How do you deal with it?
Larry David: Well, you know, you just get used to it. I get support from my bald brothers.
Jeff Greene: There's, like, meetings?

Larry David: This is called a Swiss Army Knife. Do you know what Switzerland is?
Tara Michaelson: No, what's that?
Larry David: Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

Cheryl David: Where've you been?
Larry David: I was eating some pe***.

Larry David: Oh its this guy he spotted me. Oh he's gonna want to do a stop and chat, don't...don't go.
Richard Lewis: (looks at watch) Oh my god I got to uh.. I got alot of shopping to do.
Larry David: Oh what a fu**.
Richard Lewis: Have a blast.

Larry David: Fruit's good.
Jeff Greene: Yeah.
Larry David: Delicious, isn't it?
Marty Funkhouser: How can you talk about the food? I wanna throw up. We should get out of here.
Andy: Yes, let's get out of here.
Larry David: Oh, that's a wonderful idea.
Marty Funkhouser: I want to get out of here now.
Larry David: Let me explain something to you, moron, okay? Swan killers leave. People who aren't swan killers stay, have a little lunch, enjoy themselves, socialize, get to know the members. There's nothing wrong. Get it?
Marty Funkhouser: Guess what, I'm not a swan killer, okay?
Larry David: Hey, let me remind you of something, as*****. You're talking way too loud about swan killing in the dining room. Why is that so hard to understand?
Marty Funkhouser: How many rules are you gonna break? You're not suppose to have your phone on, it's always ringing. You killed a swan!
Larry David: Keep your fu***** voice down!
Marty Funkhouser: You killed a swan!
Larry David: (raises butter knife) Shut up! Shut up!

Larry David: I was in the band, ok. The girls were pretty interested, you know, with the guitar. They liked that.
Ben'S Daughter: Like a rock band?
Larry David: Jewish folk music, Jewish folk songs.
Ben'S Daughter: Oh, like what songs?
Larry David: Um.."Gefilte Fish Blues".."My Freakin' Back is Killin' Me and It's Making It Hard to Kvell".
Cheryl David: What was the name of your band?
Larry David: The Hipsters..Larry David and The Hipsters. And then, I left The Hipsters and I just became Larry David.

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