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Curb Your Enthusiasm quotes

Larry David: Ya know, I really don't like not driving. You should've let me drive.
Cheryl David: It's my car.
Larry David: Well, on the way back, I'm gonna drive.
Cheryl David: Why?
Larry David: I don't feel I have a personality in this seat.
Cheryl David: Pfft.
Larry David: No, really. I feel very dull.
Cheryl David: Mm-hm.
Larry David: Do you want me to sing or do you want the uh, radio?
Cheryl David: I think I'd rather choose the radio.
Larry David: All right. (turns it on, cassette starts playing) What is this, a tape?
Larry David: What are you doing with a tape? I thought you only...I thought you only buy CDs.
Cheryl David: Um, actually a friend loaned it to me.
Larry David: Who is this?
Cheryl David: It's Al Green.
Larry David: Who gave you this tape?
Cheryl David: Brad. It's good, isn't it?
Larry David: "You oughta to be with me"? Is that what he's saying?! "You oughta be with me"! That's what--that's what he's singing about?!
Cheryl David: What is wrong with you?
Larry David: What the--wait, Brad gives you a tape? An Al Green tape? "You oughta be with me"?

Jeff Greene: (just snubbed due to his baldness) This blows. How do you deal with it?
Larry David: Well, you know, you just get used to it. I get support from my bald brothers.
Jeff Greene: There's, like, meetings?

Larry David: This is called a Swiss Army Knife. Do you know what Switzerland is?
Tara Michaelson: No, what's that?
Larry David: Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

Cheryl David: Where've you been?
Larry David: I was eating some pe***.

Larry David: Oh its this guy he spotted me. Oh he's gonna want to do a stop and chat, don't...don't go.
Richard Lewis: (looks at watch) Oh my god I got to uh.. I got alot of shopping to do.
Larry David: Oh what a fu**.
Richard Lewis: Have a blast.

Larry David: Fruit's good.
Jeff Greene: Yeah.
Larry David: Delicious, isn't it?
Marty Funkhouser: How can you talk about the food? I wanna throw up. We should get out of here.
Andy: Yes, let's get out of here.
Larry David: Oh, that's a wonderful idea.
Marty Funkhouser: I want to get out of here now.
Larry David: Let me explain something to you, moron, okay? Swan killers leave. People who aren't swan killers stay, have a little lunch, enjoy themselves, socialize, get to know the members. There's nothing wrong. Get it?
Marty Funkhouser: Guess what, I'm not a swan killer, okay?
Larry David: Hey, let me remind you of something, as*****. You're talking way too loud about swan killing in the dining room. Why is that so hard to understand?
Marty Funkhouser: How many rules are you gonna break? You're not suppose to have your phone on, it's always ringing. You killed a swan!
Larry David: Keep your fu***** voice down!
Marty Funkhouser: You killed a swan!
Larry David: (raises butter knife) Shut up! Shut up!

Larry David: I was in the band, ok. The girls were pretty interested, you know, with the guitar. They liked that.
Ben'S Daughter: Like a rock band?
Larry David: Jewish folk music, Jewish folk songs.
Ben'S Daughter: Oh, like what songs?
Larry David: Um.."Gefilte Fish Blues".."My Freakin' Back is Killin' Me and It's Making It Hard to Kvell".
Cheryl David: What was the name of your band?
Larry David: The Hipsters..Larry David and The Hipsters. And then, I left The Hipsters and I just became Larry David.

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