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Cougar Town quotes
(Waking up with Grayson "the morning after") What we did last night was perfectly natural, like the wind... and not trusting Canadians.
(to Laurie) Dear God, your dress is so short I can see your IUD!
An M80 dropped out of my pocket and into the fire, can y'all here me talking right now.
What sort of sk*** wears a watch?
I like queen bi***. It makes me sound like leader of the gays.
(Angry) You based all of my treatment on your dog?
Ajam. (Jules is stressed) Ok, I'm just gonna light a little sage in here 'cause, you know? It's very calming so let's all just (whistles) calm.
It's just... I can't believe you lied to me.
(Pointing at Jules, slightly angry) Hey, hey, hey, Jules! And yes, this is my steering voice.
(Slighty intimidated) I don't like your steering voice.
All I ever do was used my personal experience (starts coughing because of the sage) to help you. All right? I've never lied on this office. Ever. This is a sacred circle (keeps coughing) of truth.
Is it, Glenn?
Tell me. After we left, did you leave a note on that car?
Yes, I did.
What did it say?
It said: Suck it! (Jules nods, having proved her point) I'm not perfect, Jules.
That's how we connect. We are kindred spirits. Last time you said that you felt guilty because you hang up on your dad. Last Christimas, I set my car on fire so my mother would think I was dead.
Those aren't the same!
Bah, they're so close. But you know what? I'm done playing with your judgement games. I'm not gonna play. You're gonna have to find another therapist.
YOU are firing ME?
Here's your information.
Are you serious?
You are a nutjob!
You take your dog to communion!
(Angry and obviously crazy) Hey, that was not my choice. That was Gabriel's choice. I was totally against that, Jules.
I have a date with this mean dermatologist. She's the worst.
Then why do you go to her?
Because she's the best.
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