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Selected lines and quotes from the tv show Cougar Town. Check out our great collection of dialogues and quotes from the tv series Cougar Town and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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Cougar Town quotes

Laurie Keller: (Waking up with Grayson "the morning after") What we did last night was perfectly natural, like the wind... and not trusting Canadians.

Ellie Torres: (to Laurie) Dear God, your dress is so short I can see your IUD!

Bobby Cobb: An M80 dropped out of my pocket and into the fire, can y'all here me talking right now.

Laurie Keller: What sort of sk*** wears a watch?

Dr. Amy Evans: I like queen bi***. It makes me sound like leader of the gays.

Jules Cobb: (Angry) You based all of my treatment on your dog?
Glenn: Ajam. (Jules is stressed) Ok, I'm just gonna light a little sage in here 'cause, you know? It's very calming so let's all just (whistles) calm.
Jules Cobb: It's just... I can't believe you lied to me.
Glenn: (Pointing at Jules, slightly angry) Hey, hey, hey, Jules! And yes, this is my steering voice.
Jules Cobb: (Slighty intimidated) I don't like your steering voice.
Glenn: All I ever do was used my personal experience (starts coughing because of the sage) to help you. All right? I've never lied on this office. Ever. This is a sacred circle (keeps coughing) of truth.
Jules Cobb: Is it, Glenn?
Glenn: What?
Jules Cobb: Tell me. After we left, did you leave a note on that car?
Glenn: Yes, I did.
Jules Cobb: What did it say?
Glenn: It said: Suck it! (Jules nods, having proved her point) I'm not perfect, Jules.
Jules Cobb: (Ironic) Really?
Glenn: That's how we connect. We are kindred spirits. Last time you said that you felt guilty because you hang up on your dad. Last Christimas, I set my car on fire so my mother would think I was dead.
Jules Cobb: Those aren't the same!
Glenn: Bah, they're so close. But you know what? I'm done playing with your judgement games. I'm not gonna play. You're gonna have to find another therapist.
Jules Cobb: YOU are firing ME?
Glenn: Here's your information.
Jules Cobb: Are you serious?
Glenn: Yeah.
Jules Cobb: You are a nutjob!
Glenn: Yeaaaaah.
Jules Cobb: You take your dog to communion!
Glenn: (Angry and obviously crazy) Hey, that was not my choice. That was Gabriel's choice. I was totally against that, Jules.

Jules Cobb: I have a date with this mean dermatologist. She's the worst.
Travis Cobb: Then why do you go to her?
Jules Cobb: Because she's the best.

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