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Selected lines and quotes from the tv show Community. Check out our great collection of dialogues and quotes from the tv series Community and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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Community quotes

Jeff Winger: I'm in a bit of a jam. The Bar Association just suspended my license. Turns out my law degree was not legitimate.
Duncan: I thought you had a Bachelor's from Columbia.
Jeff Winger: Now I have to get one from America. And it can't be an e-mail attachment.

Shirley Bennett: You don't see me saying anything crazy about Abed and Troy's weird relationship.
Abed And Troy: (to each other) They're just jealous.

Jeff Winger: Don't tell me you had sex with me just to win at paintball.
Britta Perry: No. I had sex with you and I'm going to win at paintball. Don't be gross.

Troy Barnes: (as Abed lays down a beat, Troy raps) Donde esta la biblioteca? Me llamo T-Bone, la arana discoteca.
Abed Nadir: Discoteca, muneca, la biblioteca, es en la bigote grande, perro, manteca.
Troy Barnes: Manteca, bigote, gigante, pequena, cabeza es mi helada. Cerveza es bueno!
Abed Nadir: Buenas Dias! Me gusta papas frias! La bigote de la cabra es Cameron Diaz. Yeah, Boy!
Troy Barnes: Yeah! What!
Abed Nadir: Yeah. It's 2009.
Troy Barnes: Word!

Disco Stu: Study group! Come out and play-ee-ay
Jeff Winger: Oh, look! It's post-ironic Disco Stu! You still trying to bring it back? (Sees more disco-clad people on quad skates roll in) da**. He brought it back.

Abed Nadir: My dad will only pay for classes that will help me run the family business. 9/11 was pretty much 9/11 for the falafel business.

Pierce Hawthorne: Now I gotta start the whole joke all over again. Okay, so this...
Britta Perry: No!
Britta Perry: I've got one for you. A doddering, old fool walks into a bar, tells a stupid joke, and I crush his windpipe with my 3-ring binder.
Shirley Bennett: (Giggles)
Shirley Bennett: I don't get it.

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