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Californication quotes

Karen Van Der Beek: This is Mia, Bill's daughter, and this is Hank. You two know each other?
Hank Moody: No.
Mia Gross: Well, I do recognize you.
Hank Moody: No.
Mia Gross: Yeah, sure I do.
Hank Moody: No.
Mia Gross: From your book. Your picture is on the back.

Hank Moody: Sorry, I'm late. I just, uh...
Charlie Runkle: You just what?
Hank Moody: Nah, that's all I got.

Hank Moody: Try not to forget all the times I brought you to fruition. 33 to be exact.

Hank Moody: How the fu** do you option a blog? What is there to option? The title? The font?

Charlie Runkle: It's very hard to put a toothpaste back in the tube Marcy.

Charlie Runkle: I have been watching so much porn on the internet lately that I've been seeking so much sexual gratification that it's like I don't even know how to relate to real women anymore.

Hank Moody: I have a confession to make, I didn't like you very much at first you were just this annoying little blob. You smelled nice, most of the time, but didn't seem to have much interest in me; which I of course found vaguely insulting. It was you and your mom against the world, funny how some things never change. So I cruised along doing my thing, acting the fool, not really understanding how being a parent changes you. I don't remember the exact moment everything changed, I just know that it did. One minute I was impenetrable, nothing could touch me, the next my heart was somehow beating outside my chest exposed to the elements. Loving you has been the most profound, intense, painful experience of my life. In fact, it's been almost too much to bare. As your father I made a silent vow to protect you from the world, never realizing I was the one who would end up hurting you the most. When I flash forward my heart breaks, mostly because I can't imagine you speaking of me with any sort of pride. How could you? Your father is a child in a man's body, he cares for nothing and everything at the same time, noble in thought... weak in action. Something has to change, something has to give.

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