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Buffy the Vampire Slayer quotes

Buffy Summers: Ugh! She's even affecting my work, now. She's the Titanic. She's a crawling black cancer.
Buffy Summers: She's... other really bad things.
Oz: On the plus side, you killed the bench which was lookin' shifty.

Xander Harris: Giles lived for school. He's actually still bitter that there were only twelve grades.
Buffy Summers: He probably sat in math class thinking, "There should be more math. This could be mathier."
Willow Rosenberg: Come on. You don't think he ever got restless as a kid?
Buffy Summers: Are you kidding? His diapers were tweed.

Dawn Summers: (Dawn appears in the living room, dazed, with her arms outstretched and covered in blood) Is this blood?
Buffy Summers: Dawn!
Joyce Summers: Oh, baby!
Buffy Summers: What did you do?
Dawn Summers: This is blood, isn't it? It can't be me. I'm not a key. I'm not a thing
Joyce Summers: Oh, Sweetie, no. Wha-what is this all about?
Dawn Summers: What am I? (starting to cry) Am I real? Am I anything?

Tara Maclay: Does he do this a lot?
Xander Harris: Sure, every day the earth rotates backward and the skies turn orange.

Gwendolyn Post: Mr. Giles, where do you keep the rest of your books?
Giles: I-I'm sorry, the rest?
Gwendolyn Post: Yes, the *actual* library. (pause while Giles looks confused) Oh, I see.
Giles: I can assure you, Mrs. Post, this is the finest occult reference collection...
Gwendolyn Post: This side of the Atlantic, I'm sure.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I have, in fact, faced two vampires myself, under controlled circumstances, of course.
Rupert Giles: No danger of finding those here.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Vampires?
Rupert Giles: Controlled circumstances.

Andrew Wells: Screen wipe, new scene. I had nothing to do with the devil dogs. I trained flying demon monkeys to attack the school play. School play, dude.
Warren Meers: That was cool. That was kinda cool. It was funny.
Jonathan Levinson: Everyone was like, 'Run Juliet'!

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