Selected lines and quotes from the tv show American Dad. Check out our great collection of dialogues and quotes from the tv series American Dad and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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American Dad quotes

Francine Smith: Stan, can you please talk to your daughter. Look at her!
Stan Smith: My God! Get that sl** shrapnel out of your face this instant!
Hayley Smith: It's just a nose ring.
Stan Smith: It's a gateway piercing. Next thing you know, you'll have a bone for your lip like one of those rain forest people that Sting is always whining about.
Francine Smith: (to Hayley) Listen to your father. Sting's become a bit of a douche

Down A Water Slide]: Allow me to impress upon you the severe mistake you have made. For years my conduct has been largely benign. And yet, without provocation, you have severed our detente and forced me to unleash upon you the vengeful flames of a thousand suns. You shall curse your mothers for the day of your birth. So go now, go, and begin your life of fear, knowing that when you least expect it, the looming sword of Damocles will crash down upon you, cleaving you in twain and as you gaze upon the smoking wreckage that was once your life, you will regret the day you crossed the WRONG FISH!!
Steve Smith: (to Roger) He didn't think it was funny.

Stan Smith: Are you drunk?
Roger Smith: Working on it.

Klaus: Now, straddle mein bowl!

Klaus: (after Francine's scream shatters his bowl) Your family may have moved to Saudi Arabia, but I'm the real fish out of water! (laughs, then suddenly stopping) Seriously, I'm dying.

Donald Sutherland: (Sutherland saying to a lady in a restaurant) You know, you should get involved in politics. Let's talk about it over drinks. Maybe at my place?
Stan Smith: (Stan listening in to Sutherland's conversation) Let's talk about it over your brains. Maybe all over the place?

Roger Smith: (sarcastically as he goes on a delivery with Mitch) Oh, this is gonna be life changing.
Roger Smith: (wide-eyed) That was totally life changing!

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