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21 Jump Street quotes

Officer Doug Penhall: (impersonating Marlon Brando to Harry) You remember that night in the garden?

Cpt. Jenko: Now we're about four weeks ahead of you here, Hanson. So I'm going to have to rush you through some of the training.
Hanson: What kind of training?
Cpt. Jenko: Hoffs! Gonna teach you how to be a teenager again, sport. How does that grab you? I'm talking about the bad kind. The kind that gets into trouble. The kind you're going to have to be like so's they think you're one of them. Dig. Hey, Hoffs! Wake up!
Off. Judy Hoffs: Relax, relax, I'm up.
Cpt. Jenko: Hoffs, Hanson. Hanson, Hoffs.
Hanson: (slow, nervous smile spreading across his face) Hi.
Cpt. Jenko: Jude, run this cat down to wardrobe and see if we can take some of the cop out of his presentation. And for God's sake, do something about the Jack Kennedy haircut too, will ya?
Cpt. Jenko: Go with what Officer Hoffs tells you, Hanson. Been real, bro! Stick with Hoffs here and hook us up with a little field training tonight. (He gives Hanson an elaborate handshake which ends with Cpt. Jenko running his hand through his hair while Hanson's hand is still stuck out) Later!
Hanson: (to Hoffs) Are you kidding me?
Hoffs: Oh, so Jenk's a little bit of a hang-on hippie. Big deal! 'Cause when it comes to going undercover, the dude is the best. (sticking out hand) I'm Judy Hoffs.
Hoffs: Uh, that's okay, honey. My people don't do that anymore. (gives regular handshake while patting Hanson's hand condescendingly)
Hanson: Oh. (holds out bag of chips) Chip?

Off. Doug Penhall: I hope you don't have one already... Tada!
Off. Tom Hanson #2: It's very nice... What is it?
Off. Doug Penhall: It's a pillow.
Off. Tom Hanson #2: Where's the rest of it?
Off. Doug Penhall: No, it's supposed to be like that... It's for guys who have...
Off. Tom Hanson #2: What?
Off. Doug Penhall: Hemroids.
Off. Tom Hanson #2: You hope I don't already have one? Make this go away
Off. Doug Penhall: Okay... I'll put it over here, in case you change your mind. It's right here alright?

Off. Tom Hanson #2: You know, man, this thing was completely bizarre. I mean, it's like this weird apparition off shot you know.
Off. Doug Penhall: Let me guess, you stood in the corner and took votes all night.
Off. Tom Hanson #2: No man, I got out there and got into it.
Off. Doug Penhall: You slammed and I missed it?
Off. Tom Hanson #2: Yeah, you get out there and you bash into a bunch of other guys. You sweat a lot. I mean it's just another sub culture. Taking orders, packing rules, that kind of thing.

Officer Doug Penhall: What can I say? I got lucky. All the King's Men was the only book I actually read in Jeff... in my last school.

Off. Tom Hanson #2: You know this means I'll have to arrest you, right?
Brian Gans: I know.
Off. Tom Hanson #2: I'm sorry.

Captain Adam Fuller: The kids name is Reggie Brooks. Guys like him don't handle being humiliated. They lose the rep, their gangs take a walk. We put out a warrant for Brooks right after a pipe bomb blew off the hood of Madigan's car. He disappeared. Reggie is a three time loser as a juvy, last week he turned eighteen. So this will be the first time that he's been suspected of a felony as an adult.
Officer Judy Hoffs: What about the bloods?
Captain Adam Fuller: Death threats, angry acts from the gang members for skipping school. My bet is they're just waiting on the word from Reggie to take that shot.

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