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Football quotes

Jim Murray
Australian Rules football might best be described as a game devised for padded cells, played in the open air.

Frank Gifford
Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.

Ambrose Bierce
Academe: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught.

P. G. Wodehouse
Rugby football is a game I can't claim absolutely to understand in all its niceties, if you know what I mean. I can follow the broad, general principles, of course. I mean to say, I know that the main scheme is to work the ball down the field somehow and deposit it over the line at the other end and that, in order to squalch this programme, each side is allowed to put in a certain amount of assault and battery and do things to its fellowman which, if done elsewhere, would result in fourteen days without the option, coupled with some strong remarks from the Bench.

Gene Brodie
The way you get better at playing football is to play football.

Phyllis Diller
The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Bertrand Russell
If two hitherto rival football teams, under the influence of brotherly love, decided to co-operate in placing the football first beyond one goal and then beyond the other, no one's happiness would be increased

Bo Jackson
Football is easy if you're crazy as hell

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