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Tyler Perrys Madeas Family Reunion quotes

Mable 'Madea' Simmons: Joe, did that thing just push you?
Joe: Sho' did. She don't know about us, we Baptist. We tear this place up.
Mable 'Madea' Simmons: Girl, I will set it off up in here! I will do a drive-by in this church... she don't know me! You better be glad you at church. Jesus just saved your life, Hallelu-yer!
Milay Jenay Lori: I'm tired of dealing with black people. Always late. And ignorant...
Mable 'Madea' Simmons: ...She don't know me. I'm a straight-up thug... I shot Tupac! Yes, I did. We was arguing over a parking place. I didn't kill him, though. That wasn't me.

Vanessa: (with Lisa) A friend of ours is being beaten by her husband and we want to know what we should do.
Mable 'Madea' Simmons: Before or after his funeral?

Lisa: I am not getting married today, I have been beaten every day since I got engaged, and I have made excuses for him over, and over, and over again. But it's time for me to live for Lisa.

Mable 'Madea' Simmons: I told you, you don't know how to lie. What kinda lawyer don't know how to lie? Lie and lawyer go together lie-awyer... lie-awyer!

Mable 'Madea' Simmons: (to Nikki about Joe) Go help that thing find its shoes so we can get out of here.

Mable 'Madea' Simmons: What do you want to be?
Nikki: I want to be a lawyer.
Mable 'Madea' Simmons: That's good, I might need you to get me off, after I kill him, Murder One.

Mable 'Madea' Simmons: You know I only go to church for two reasons, weddings and funerals, which one we gonna have today?

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