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Tyler Perrys Madea Goes to Jail quotes

Madea: Cora do me a favor.
Cora: What?
Madea: Put the shut, to the up. Okay? Shut to the up.

Joe: Your mama is a Po-Po hoe!

Madea: I'm Madea! Ma to the da** D-E-A!

Candace Washington: What you gonna do? Beat me with your Bible every five minutes like my Grandma did?
Tanya: First of all I don't know your Grandma, and second of all I don't carry a Bible, it's at home on my mantel.
Donna: Don't need to carry it when you know every word of it.
Tanya: You should know it.

Joshua Hardaway: When we were in college, the others made fun of her, about her clothes and her hair, and I started avoiding her. One night, I had a date, and the football team said they would keep her company... (crying)
Joshua Hardaway: I came back that night and went into my room... and they... they raped her, and I didn't do nothing about it. I'm so sorry.

Dr. Phil: What is wrong with you? Why do you feel the need that you gotta "get" somebody all the time?
Madea: Well when you gettin' "got" and somebody done "got" you and you go "get" them, when you get 'em everybody's gon' get got.
Dr. Phil: Yea but you're gettin' the gotters when they didn't do anything to even get you.
Madea: Yea but if the gotters get me I'm gonna get my glock.

Joe: You ain't gotta drive nowhere to get food. I know a place where you can get fed three meals a day for free.
Madea: I ain't listening to none of your crazy talk right now, Joe.
Joe: I ain't joking here, now. I know a place where you can go work, and they gonna treat you real nice, and give you three meals a day!
Madea: What the hell you talking about? Where?
Joe: Down there at the Georgia Aquarium, they had one of the whales die. You can just go on down there and swim around for a while, and they'll feed you. (chuckles)
Madea: Just keep on laughing you rusty old ba*****.

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