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Trading Places quotes

Billy Ray Valentine: (while acting blind and legless) Hey, baby, what's happening? How are ya doing? Once you have a man with no legs, you never go back, baby. I know what you're thinkin'. You seen "Porgy and Bess"? (the woman begins to walk away)
Billy Ray Valentine: We can make it, baby! Me and you!... You bi***!

Billy Ray Valentine: (watches Louis clean his shotgun) You know, you can't just go around and shoot people in the kneecaps with a double-barreled shotgun 'cause you pi**** at 'em.
Louis Winthorpe III: Why not?
Billy Ray Valentine: 'Cause it's called assault with a deadly weapon, you get 20 years for that sh**.
Louis Winthorpe III: Listen, do you have any better ideas?
Billy Ray Valentine: Yeah. You know, it occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people.
Coleman: You have to admit, sir, you didn't like it yourself a bit.

Billy Ray Valentine: (watches cops subduing an unruly suspect) May I suggest using your night stick officer?

Beeks: Hey. Back off! I'll rip out your eyes and pi** on your brain.

Corrupt Cop: (finds a baggie in Winthorpe's coat at his arrest) One cellophane bag...
Louis Winthorpe III: Now that's not mine! I've never seen that before in my life!
Corrupt Cop: (takes some PCP out of the baggie and tastes it) That's PCP! Phencyclidine. Angel dust! You ever seen what this stuff does to kids? You're looking at 3 to 5 mandatory... Louis!

Even Bigger Black Guy: It was a stone groove, my man! You are, the most, righteous...
Billy Ray Valentine: Yeah right, just get the fu** out, man! Let's go!

Billy Ray Valentine: (after breaking a vase) Hey, sorry about that.
Randolph Duke: It's perfectly all right William. It was your vase.
Billy Ray Valentine: That was a cheap vase, right? That was a fake? Right?
Randolph Duke: I believe we paid $35,000. But if I remember correctly, we valued it for the insurance company at $50,000. You see, Mortimer? William has already made us $15,000. (Coleman, Mortimer, Randolph, and Billy Ray start laughing)
Billy Ray Valentine: You want me to break something else?
Randolph Duke: NO!

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