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If we went on a picnic it would be fun.
I don't understand a picnic. We go someplace, we put a thing on the ground and eat.
Yeah, it's nice to do that.
Why? I don't get it. It's better sittin' in front of the TV.
I happen to think there's somethin' nice about a picnic. It's fun.
What's fun about it? Ants get in the food - there's bees. I don't get it. You have to drive - it takes you maybe an hour to get there. And then whataya do? You sit on the grass and eat. Why is that fun?
(Sam and Tilley go out to bar to celebrate a sale that Tilley has made to break a long dry spell) You know, Tilley, I'm beginning to believe in God.
Yeah me too!
No, you don't know what I mean. I'm beginning to think about God more.
What, you were never one of those atheists, were you?
No, I'm not sayin' that. It's just that I'm beginning to give God more thought.
What, did you have some kind of religious experience or something.
Well, yeah, the other day I took the wife to lunch, we went and has some smorgasboard, and it just kinda happened.
(Gags for a second at this) At the smorg... you found God at the smorgasboard?
Well, yeah, I'm looking at all this food, I see all these vegetables, and I think, all these things came outta the ground. I see tomatoes, outta the ground, carrots, outta the ground, radishes outta the ground. And I think, all of these things come outta the ground. And I'm just talkin' about the vegetables, I haven't gotten to the fruits yet. And I think, how can that be? How can all these things come outta the ground? With all these things comin' outta the ground, there must be a God.
Ok, Mr. Merengue, let's dance!
If Mr. Merengue wants to play, we'll play!
There is no sympathy for the working man in this country.
I'm gonna get this guy. Just for the fun of it!
You know when I saw 'Bonanza' the other day, something occurred to me.
Ya got these four guys living on the Ponderosa and ya never hear them say anything about wanting to get laid.
I mean ya never hear Hoss say to Little Joe, "I had such a hard-on when I woke up this morning."
No, no, no...
They don't talk about broads - nothing. Ya never hear Little Joe say, "Hey, Hoss, I went to Virginia City and I saw a girl with the greatest as* I've ever seen in my life." They just walk around the Ponderosa: "Yes, Pa, where's Little Joe?" Nothin' about broads. I don't think I'm being too picky. But, if at least once, they talked about getting ho***. I don't care if you live on the Ponderosa or right here in Baltimore, guys talk about getting laid. I'm beginning to think that show doesn't have too much realism.
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