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(climbs into a port-a-potty) Oh. Yes. It's a bit small, but it should do nicely! Oh, it's even got its own cauldron. (tries some magic, and screams... )
What died in here? OPEN! OPEN! OPEN! OPEN! OPEN! OPPEEENNNN! (finally falls out)
Somebody's been working a dark and terrible magic in there.
I'm 546, I'm getting too old for this...
Where the Smurf are we?
Up the smurfin' creek without a paddle, that's where!
Don't get your petals in a twist.
Oh, Azrael, we've come so far, yet I am haunted by the same familiar problem: how to find the Smurfs. If only I had a... (Azrael hacks and coughs)
I'm sorry, is my thinking interrupting your vile habit? If only I had something of theirs: a drop of spittle, a fingernail, some hair even, then I could use my magic to hunt them down! (Azrael coughs out a hairball)
Very nice. Are you done now?
Meow! (points at the hairball)
I don't want to look at it! What? YUCK! WHAT?... Is that...? No. No, it can't be... it is! The tiny locks of Smurfette! Oh, sweet follicular ambrosia! Oh, sweet strands of joy... mixed with a fair amount of cat vomit. (holds up the hair)
(Odile is giving a demonstration of her anti-aging cream) I see no transformation. Your potion has no power. She's still an eye-offending dogfish if you ask me.
This is my mother who you speaking of!
I'm so sorry, I didn't realize. How sad for you in thirty years.
(playing with puppets) La la lala lala, sing a happy song! La la lala lala, this is so wrong! "I'm Papa Smurf, I'm the head of a small group of little blue people that live in the forest with 99 sons and one daughter! Nothing weird about that, oh no, totally normal!" "And I'm Smurfette! And I think I'm so pretty! I left Gargamel, and I didn't even care! And I can slide down sunshine and rainbows!"... But all of that is about to change! (Azrael bathes himself)
Ahem. I said, "But all of that is about to change!" Azreal, that's your cue!
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