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(at the Green Card interview) Are you soul mates?
Uhm, would we kill each other? No!
(sarcastically) You can do this, but that would require you to stop snacking on children while they dream.
Andrew! Andrew! Andrew! (throws a pillow at him, waking him up)
(whispering) Your mother's at the door, get up here! Get up here!
(to Andrew's mother) Just a second! (Andrew throws his pillow and blanket at her)
(whispering as she takes Andrew's blankets off the bed) Baby blanket, get it off, get it off...
(Andrew gets close to her, as if they were sleeping together, as she feels something) Oh my God, what is that?
I'm sorry... it's morning!
What do you mean it's morning? (Andrew rolls his eyes, as the meaning is obvious)
(on sleeping in the same bedroom with Andrew) We love to snuggle. Don't we honey?
(sarcastically) Huge snugglers.
(Introducing the new family dog to Margaret) Don't let him out. The eagles will sn**** him.
(after Margaret's plane takes off) What's wrong?
Margaret's on that plane.
And he didn't get to tell her!
Tell her what?
That he loves her.
So she could tell him that she loves him too.
Yeah but how does he...
If she didn't love him, she wouldn't have left.
Of course not.
Am I the only one not getting this?
(referring to the story about how he proposed to Margaret) You know what? Actually, Margaret loves telling this story, so I'm just gonna let her go ahead and do that. We should just sit and rapture.
Wow, okay... wow, where to begin... the story... Well, um, wow... Okay, well, um, Andrew and I... Andrew and I were about to celebrate our first anniversary together and I knew that he'd been itching to ask me to marry him and he was scared, like a little tiny bird. So, I started leaving him little hints here and there because I knew he wouldn't have the guts to ask...
That's not exactly how it happened.
No, no, I mean I picked up on all of her little hints... this woman is about as subtle as a gun. Yeah, no what I was worried about was that she might find this little box...
Oh, the decoupage box that he made, where he'd taken the time to cut out twenty little pictures of himself, just pasted all over the box. So beautiful! I opened that beautiful little decoupage and out fluttered these tiny little hand cut heart confettis and once they cleared, I looked down and I saw the most beautiful, big...
...fat nothing! No ring.
No, but inside that box, underneath all that cr**, a handwritten note with the address to a hotel, date and time. Real Humphrey Bogart type stuff. Masculine. Naturally, Margaret, she thought...
I thought he was seeing someone else... so it was a terrible time for me, but I went to that hotel anyway, I went there and I pounded on the door. But the door was already unlocked. As I swung open that door, there he was...
Like a man.
On a bed of rosebuds, in a tuxedo. Your son. Your son... and he was choking back soft, soft sobs. And when he held back the tears and finally caught his breath, he said to me...
'Margaret, will you marry me?' and she said 'yep', the end!
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