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What's happening to me, Star?
Oh, Michael. Michael, I can't tell you. I don't know how to help you.
(whispers) I can't.
Hey, anything around here that might pass for aftershave?
How about some Windex, Grandpa?
Yeah, yeah, let me try some of that.
You have a big date tonight, Grandpa?
I'm going to drop my handiwork by the widow Johnson.
What'd ya stuff for her? Mr. Johnson?
I think I should warn you all, when a vampire bites it, it's never a pretty sight. No two bloodsuckers go the same way. Some yell and scream, some go quietly, some explode, some implode, but all will try to take you with them.
(the boys come in carrying Laddie and Star, who are sleeping. Grandpa is totally ignoring the unconscious Laddie in Edgar's arms, and Star in Michael's) Do you know the rule about filling up the car with gas when you take it without asking?
(Hoping he says nothing about Laddie and Star) No, Grandpa.
Well, now you do.
I bet you hate garlic, dontcha!
No, I like garlic! It's just a little much! It's raw garlic.
Notice anything unusual about Santa Carla yet?
No, it's actually a pretty cool place... if you're a Martian!
Or, a vampire!
You guys sniffin' on newsprint or somethin'?
You did the right thing by calling us. Does your brother sleep a lot?
Yeah, all day.
Does the sunlight freak him out?
Uh, he wears sunglasses in the house.
Bad breath, long fingernails?
Yeah, his fingernails are a little bit longer, um, he always had bad breath, though.
He's a vampire all right.
All right, here's what you do: get yourself a good sharp stake and drive it right through his heart.
I can't do that; he's my brother.
OK, we'll come over and do it for you.
You'd better get yourself a garlic T-shirt, buddy, or it's your funeral.
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