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The Last Boy Scout quotes

Joe Hallenbeck: Hey, you got a car here? Hey! You got a car?
Pool Owner: Yeah.
Joe Hallenbeck: Give me the keys.
Pool Owner: No way.
Joe Hallenbeck: (Holds his gun to Darian's head) Give me the keys or I shoot the kid.

Jimmy Dix: (Jimmy has just survived being thrown off an overpass and is now trying to calm startled motorists) It's okay. It's okay, folks. It's okay. It's okay. Thank you. Thank you. Danger is my middle name. Don't try this at home, folks. I'm a trained professional. There's me, and there's Super Dave. (Passes out)

Darian Hallenbeck: The hell's that number on the back of your head? Is that like a license plate in case somebody tries to steal it?
Jimmy Dix: No. It's a football thing. It's my high school number.
Darian Hallenbeck: So when do you graduate?
Jimmy Dix: ...You wanna be left alone, don't you? I'll be in the kitchen, over here.

Locker Room Kid: Billy Cole. Billy Cole.
Head Coach: The first half stunk! Open the holes up! Get in there like hogs! Like pigs!
Locker Room Kid: Billy Cole. You got a call on line three.
Head Coach: Let's go out there in this half and kick some bu**! Let's get out of this town as a winner! I hate Cleveland!

McCoskey: I've got bad news and bad news.
Lieutenant Benjamin Bessalo: Give me the bad news first.

Alley Thug: All right, you want it in the chest, or the head?
Joe Hallenbeck: Yeah, that's what your wife said.
Alley Thug: Hey, would you stop with the wife sh**?
Joe Hallenbeck: Ask me how fat she is.
Alley Thug: fu** you, man! How fat is she?
Joe Hallenbeck: She's so fat I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot. mo**********, if you wanna fu** her you gotta slap her thigh and ride the wave in. Now I'm not saying she's fat, her high school picture was an aerial photograph.

Joe Hallenbeck: This is the '90s. You can't just walk up and slap a guy, you have to say something cool first.

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