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The Dark Knight quotes

Happy: (after cracking open the bank's safe) They wired this thing up with, like, 5,000 volts. What kind of bank does that?
Grumpy: A mob bank. I guess the Joker is as crazy as they say. Where's the alarm guy?
Happy: Boss told me, when the guy was done, I should take him out. One less share, right?
Grumpy: Funny, he told me something similar.
Happy: What...? (turns)
Happy: No, no, no-! (Grumpy shoots him)

Lt. James Gordon: (to The Joker) We got you, you son of a bi***!

Bruce Wayne: (after running into Harvey and Rachel at a restaurant) So, let's put a couple tables together.
Harvey Dent: I'm not sure they'll let us.
Bruce Wayne: Oh, they should. I own the place.

Harvey Dent: (on TV) I don't know about Mr. Lau's travel arrangements, but I'm sure glad he's here.
The Chechen: I put word out. We hire the clown. (looks at the others)
The Chechen: He was right. We have to fix real problems: Batman. (They don't see Gordon enter)
Lt. James Gordon: Ah our boy looks good on the tube.
Salvatore Maroni: You sure you want to embarrass me in front of my friends, Lieutenant?
Lt. James Gordon: Don't worry. They're coming too. (Other cops enter and arrest the mobsters in the restaurant. Cuts to various locations in Gotham City, as the police do a massive round up of the mobsters in town. We see Stephens loading one thug into a police car, underneath an 'L' line, saying)
Detective Stephens: Have a nice trip. See you next fall. (cuts to a courtroom, where Judge Surillo is reading the massive charges)
Judge Surrillo: 747 counts of extortion, 849 counts of racketeering, 246 counts of fraud, 87 counts of conspiracy to murder... (as she flips through the documents, she finds a Joker playing card)
Judge Surrillo: ... 527 counts of obstruction of justice. How do the defendants plead? (a massive army of defense lawyers start jostling and yelling all at once. The stenographer looks up, confused)
Judge Surrillo: Order! Order in the court! (cut to the Mayor's office, where the Mayor is berating Harvey for his actions. Gordon and Commissioner Loeb are also present)
Mayor Anthony Garcia: 549 criminals at once. How did you convince Surillo to hear this farce?
Harvey Dent: She shares my enthusiasm for justice. After all, she is a judge.
Mayor Anthony Garcia: Well even if you're able to blow enough smoke to get convictions out of Surillo, you're going to set a new record at appeals for quickest kick in the as*.
Harvey Dent: It won't matter. The head guys make bail, sure... but the mid-level guys, they can't, and they can't afford to be off the streets long enough for trial and appeal. They'll cut deals that include *some* jail time. Think of all you could do with 18 months of clean streets. (the Mayor waves Gordon and Commissioner Loeb out)
Mayor Anthony Garcia: The public likes you, Dent. That's the *only* reason this might fly. But that means it's on you. They're all coming after you now. Not just the mob: politicians, journalists, cops. Anyone whose wallet's about to get lighter. Are you up to it? (Dent smiles)
Mayor Anthony Garcia: You better be. They get anything back on you, those criminals will be back on the streets... (he walks over to the window and looks out)
Mayor Anthony Garcia: Followed swiftly by you and me. (a dead Batman wanna-be in Joker makeup, with the sides of his mouth sliced into a grin, bangs into the window, causing the mayor to jump. Police lower the dead body, which is hanging from a noose, and they find a Joker card that says "WILL THE REAL BATMAN PLEASE STAND UP?")

Gambol: You think you can steal from us and just walk away?
The Joker: Yeah.

The Joker: (Batman slams The Joker's head on a table) Never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy. He can't feel the next... (Batman slams a fist down on Joker's hand; pause)
The Joker: See?

Dopey: Here comes the silent alarm... (disables it by pressing a button)
Dopey: And there it goes. (pause)
Dopey: That's funny, it didn't dial out to 9-1-1. It was trying to reach a private number.
Happy: Is it a problem?
Dopey: Nah, I'm done here. (Happy shoots him with a silenced Beretta 92SB-C, then takes his bag and runs down into the vault)

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