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I go to the mall and take pictures up women's skirts. I have a whole book of cooter shots under my bed.
One time I shoved a firefly up my bu** hole.
To make my farts glow.
(after Marty Huggins' ad where he tells the truth) I tried to kill you in your sleep.
Bizarre news coming out of of the 14th district congressional race in North Carolina. Now, get this: Cam Brady, four-time congressman, punched a baby.
This is likely to hurt him with the Christian right, social conservatives. Really any group that opposes baby-punching.
Baby is fine, and he said he punches like a three year old.
Bring your brooms cause it's a mess.
(on answering machine) Hey Shana. It's congressman Cam Brady here. I just stepped away from a family dinner to tell you I wish I wasn't eating fried steak. I wish I was eating Shana pu***. Seriously, baby, you get me so hard my di** presses against my zipper and it hurts like a mo**********. What else? Oh, hey, I got your parents tickets to The Producers. And, oh, yeah, let's do something crazy weird next time like lick each other's buttholes in a Denny's bathroom. All right, I gotta go. Cam Brady in '012.
You know the difference between you mum and a washing machine? The washing machine does not follow me around when I dump a load in it.
(after getting bit by a snake) He spilled the venom from my blood! It's a miracle!
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