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My name's Dewey Oxburger. My friends call me Ox. You might have noticed that, uh, I've got a slight weight problem.
Yeah, yeah I do. Yeah, I do. I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression... along with a lot of pizzas! Ha Ha Ha! Pizzas! I'm basically a shy person, I'm a shy guy. Uh, he suggested taking one these uh, aggression training courses. You know these aggression training courses like EST, those type of things. Anyway, it cost 400 bucks! 400 bucks to join this thing? Well I didn't have the money and I thought to myself, "Join the army"! It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds. And you got what, a 6 to 8 week training program here? A real tough one. Which is perfect for me. (Looks around at all the soldiers and gestures emphatically)
I'm going to walk out of here a Lean, Mean, Fightin' Machine! Ha ha ha ha!
My hobbies are fast cars and fast women because uh... that's why my... the guys in my car club call me the 'cruiser'.
Should have called him the dork!
Have that removed.
Now, are either of you homosexuals?
(John and Russell look at each other) You mean, like, flaming, or...
Well, it's a standard question we have to ask.
No, we're not homosexual, but we are *willing to learn*.
Yeah, would they send us someplace special?
I guess that's "no" on both. Now if you could just give Uncle Sam your autograph...
John, do you think I'm officer material?
God, I'm worried about you.
Come on! I'm in good shape, I'm walking tall, I'm looking good. First weekend in Europe.
Yeah. We're spending it in an airplane hangar... guarding a truck!
We've got each other.
You better hit those bunks my little babies, or Sergeant Hulka with the "big toe" is gonna see how far he can stick it up your as*.
I don't think I've ever been this happy.
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