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Stand by Me quotes

Gordie: Maybe you could come into the college courses with me.
Chris: Yeah right, that'll be the day.
Gordie: Why not? You're smart enough.
Chris: They won't let me.
Gordie: What do you mean?
Chris: It's what everyone thinks of my family in this town. It's what they think of me. I'm just one of those low-life Chambers kids.
Gordie: That's not true.
Chris: Oh wait, it is. No one even asked me if I took the milk money that time. I just got a three day vacation.
Gordie: Did you take it?
Chris: Yeah, I took it! I mean, you knew I took it. Teddy knew I took it. Everyone knew I took it. Even Vern knew it, I think. But maybe I was sorry and I tried to give it back.
Gordie: You tried to give it back?
Chris: Maybe. Just maybe. And maybe I took it to Old Lady Simmons and told her, and the money was all there. But I still got a three day vacation because it never showed up. And maybe the next week, Old Lady Simmons had this new suit on when she came to school.
Gordie: Yeah, yeah! It was brown and it had dots on it.
Chris: Yeah. So let's just say that I stole the milk money, but Old Lady Simmons stole it back from me. Just say that I told this story. Me, Chris Chambers. Kid brother to Eyeball Chambers. Do you think that anyone would've believed it?
Gordie: No.
Chris: And do you think that that bi*** would have dared try something like that if it had been one of those douchebags from up on the view, if they had taken the money?
Gordie: No way!
Chris: Hell no! But with me?... I'm sure she had her eye on that skirt for a long time. Anyway, she saw her chance, and she took it. I was the stupid one for even trying to give it back. (begins to cry)
Chris: I just never thought a teacher... Oh, who gives a fu** anyway? I just wish... that I could go some place... where nobody knows me. I guess I'm just a pu***, huh?
Gordie: (comforting) No way. No way.

Gordie: Suck my fat one, you cheap dime store hood.

Vern: Any of you guys know when the next train is due?
Chris: We could go down to the route 1-36 bridge.
Teddy: What are you, crazy? That's 5 miles down the river, you go 5 miles down the river you gotta walk 5 miles back! That could take 'til dark. We go across here we can get to the same place in 10 minutes.
Vern: Yeah, but if a train comes there's nowhere else to go.
Teddy: No there isn't, we just jump.
Chris: Teddy, it's 100 feet.
Vern: Yeah, Teddy.
Teddy: Look, you guys can go around if you want to, I'm crossing here, and when you guys are dragging your candy as*** half way across the state and back, I'll be waiting for you on the other side relaxing with my thoughts.
Gordie: You use your left hand or your right hand for that?
Teddy: You wish.

The Writer: (voiceover) Around this time, Charlie and Billy were playing "Mailbox Baseball" with Ace and Eyeball. (cuts to Ace hitting mailboxes with a bat in a moving car)
Ace: (Ace hits a wooden mailbox) Ahh sh**! I'm out! Goddammit!
Eyeball: You shouldn't have gone for a wooden one. Huh-huh!
Ace: (Stares at Eyeball intensely) Why don't you tell me something I don't know, as*****? (Hands bat to Billy)
Ace: Billy, you're up.
Billy Tessio: Nah, you guys win. I don't wanna play no more.
Eyeball: Hey, you can't quit! We've only played three innings! That would be a non-official game!
Charlie Hogan: Hey, Ace. Uh, we... (Billy nudges him in the arm)
Ace: What's with you homos? You guys've been acting psycho all day. (Long pause)
Ace: What is it?
Billy Tessio: It's nothin'! It's nothin'! It's nothin', right? (Looks over at Charlie who concurs)
Ace: Then, if you gentlemen don't mind, I'd like to finish this game before I start collecting my go***** Social Security, okay? You're up Billy. Move it!
Billy Tessio: All right! Gimmie this fu****' thing. (grabs bat and assumes batter's position)
Ace: Let's play ball!
Eyeball: Yeah!

Mayor Grundy: And now, the one you've all been waiting for, the four-time champion, our own, Bill Travis! (Cheers and applause; Mayor aside to Travis)
Mayor Grundy: Listen, I got ten ridin' on you myself, Billy-boy. (Now he speaks to the crowd)
Mayor Grundy: Alright, are you ready? Hands behind your backs, gentlemen! Drum roll!
Donelley Twin: Hey, Lardass! Chow down, Wide Load!
Mayor Grundy: Heh-heh-heh... GO! (the contestants bury their faces and begin eating. Within a few seconds, Lardass has finished his first pie)
Lardass Hogan: Done! (Lardass finishes his second pie)
Lardass Hogan: Done! (Bill Travis finishes his first pie)
Bill Travis: Done!
Lardass Hogan: (Lardass finishes his third pie) Done!
Mayor Grundy: (to Lardass) You better pace yourself if you wanna hold out, boy. (Lardass continues and the crowd starts to cheer him on)
Gordie: What the audience didn't know was that Lardass wasn't really interested in winning. What he wanted was revenge, and right before he was introduced he'd gotten ready for it. (Cut to flashback scene showing Lardass drinking a quart bottle of Castor Oil and eating a raw egg just before the start of the contest; cut back to the contest in progress)
Gordie: Diving into his fifth pie, Lardass began to imagine that he wasn't eating pies. He pretended he was eating cow-plops, and rat guts in blueberry sauce.
Lardass Hogan: Done! (Lardass prepares to dive into his sixth pie, but then his stomach starts rumbling)
Gordie: Slowly, a sound started to build in Lardass' stomach. A strange and scary sound, like a log truck coming at you at a hundred miles-an-hour. Suddenly, Lardass opened his mouth, and before Bill Travis knew it... (Lardass barfs all over Bill)
Gordie: ... he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. The women in the audience screamed. Bossman Bob Cormier took one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins, who barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting next to him. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife's ti**. But when the smell hit the crowd, that's when Lardass' plan really started to work. Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends. Kids barfed on their parents. A fat lady barfed in her purse. The Donnelley twins barfed on each other, and the Women's Auxiliary barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Antelopes. And Lardass just sat back and enjoyed what he'd created-a complete and total barf-o-rama!
Vern: (Cheering and laughing) Yeah!

Gordie: pi** up a rope!

Teddy: Ha ha, Gordie loses! You lose Gordie! Ol' Gordie just screwed the pooch!
Gordie: Does the word "retarded" mean anything to you?
Teddy: Gordie, go get the food, you morphodite.
Gordie: Don't call me any of your mother's pet names.
Teddy: You're a real wet end, Lachance.
Gordie: Shut up.
Teddy: I don't shut up. I grow up. And when I look at you, I throw up. Aghhh!
Gordie: And then your mom goes around the corner and she licks it up.

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