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Where's Brer Rabbit's Briar Patch?
Where? Well, now, lemme see. That I can't exactly say, 'cause I ain't been keepin' close track as I used to.
It happum on one ah dem Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Days. Now dat's the kinda day where you can't opem yo mouf widout a song jumpin right out of it!
That big-ol' rabbit won't get away this time. No, sir, we'll catch him sure. I'll catch him sure.
But, uh, that's what you said the last time before and the time before that and... look, let's just knock his head clean off.
Oh, no, indeed, ain't nothin' smart about that. I'm gonna show him who the smartest is, and the Tar Baby'll do the rest. It sure will fool him! Yes, sir!
No, it ain't gonna fool nobody. It hain't got no eyes.
Eyes? Oh, yes, indeed, eyes! I'm glad I thought of that. (He looks at Br'er Bear's buttons on his coat)
Lemme see now... hmm-hmm-hmm. Lemme see about this. (He yanks the coat buttons off the bear's coat, ripping them off)
Just about this size. (He places the buttons on the Tar Baby's head for eyes)
Now, lemme see. Oh, yes, a nose, too. Gotta have a nose, one of those very badly. Gotta have a nose. This is sure gonna do the trick. (Br'er Bear covers his nose, but the fox instead snatches the bowl of the bear's pipe, rips it out, and jams the pipe stem back into the bear's mouth. At the same time, he places the bowl on the Tar Baby's face as its nose)
It's lookin' more natural all the time.
But it hain't... it hain't got no hair.
Uh, hair? (He looks at Br'er Bear's hair; the bear shoves his down over his head and swivels his head away from the fox, who rips some hair off his buttocks. The bear yells while the fox places some hanks of the bear's hair on the Tar Baby's head)
There! (Br'er Bear looks at his bare and throbbing rear)
All right, now c'mon and help me along, now. Help me along. C'mon. (He lifts up his end of the log on which the Tar Baby is seated and hands the other half to Br'er Bear, who takes it and they head out of the cave)
Us ain't got all day, c'mon...
(singing) Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay / My, oh, my what a wonderful day / Plenty of sunshine heading my way / Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay / Mr. Bluebird's on my shoulder / It's the truth, it's actual / Everything is satisfactual / Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay / Wonderful feeling, wonderful day.
I'm gonna knock his head clean off!
You said this was a Laughing Place. And I ain't laughing.
I didn't say it was your Laughing Place, I said it was *my* Laughing Place, Br'er Bear.
Just 'cause ol' Remus take your side don't mean we ain't gonna get Teenchy. You wait and see.
We're gonna tell on you.
Yeah, gonna tell Tempy, or maybe your grandma. Or maybe even your ma.
(remembering the Tar Baby story) Go ahead, I don't care. You can tell Aunt Tempy and you can tell Grandma. You can even tell my mama. But whatever you do, don't tell *your* ma.
(suspiciously) Why not?
Just don't you tell her, that's all. If you do, it'll be awful. (Grinning, the Favers boys leave)
(to Johnny) Ain't that what Brer Rabbit did to Brer Fox?
(whispering) Sh! Being little and without much strength, we're supposed to use our heads instead of our foots.
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