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Ruthless People quotes

Sam Stone: What's this phone call about?
Ken Kessler: We call to make you an offer. An offer you can't refuse.
Sam Stone: Low?
Ken Kessler: Yeah, $10,000.
Sam Stone: Fat chance!
Ken Kessler: Mr. Stone, this is no joke! We're desperate people! We...
Sam Stone: Time out! I believe this is a joke pal and you're it! The last time we spoke you said my wife would be in the morgue if I didn't pay. Well, I didn't pay and just today I was at the morgue and she wasn't there. You lied to me! You know what I think?
Ken Kessler: (beat) No.
Sam Stone: You got no nuts! What do I have to do? Put a gun in your hand, aim and pull your finger down you spineless wimp! I dare you to kill her! (Sam hangs up)
Sam Stone: Now that oughta do it!

Carol: You get that tape of Sam Stone finishing off his wife, and that man will give us anything we want for the rest of his life!
Earl Mott: Yeah! Then we're off to Haiti.
Carol: Not Haiti, Tahiti!
Earl Mott: Oh... I knew that.

Earl Mott: (discovering that his fish are dead) Crockett and Tubbs... they're floatin'!

Earl Mott: Did you just shoot at me?
Ken Kessler: No, you moron! There's police all over the place! Hundreds of them!
Earl Mott: Do I look that stupid?
Ken Kessler: Yes, you do!

Sam Stone: For mixing cotton with silk?

Sam Stone: A bad salesman will automatically drop his price. Bad salesmen make me sick. (Later, Ken calls Sam, who says he doesn't have enough money for the ransom)
Ken Kessler: Well, what about... less?
Sam Stone: (covers the phone) You make me sick.

Sam Stone: (struggling with Ken) Gimme back my money!
Ken Kessler: What are you doing? Let go! (to the police)
Ken Kessler: Tell him to let go! If he doesn't let go I give the order to kill Mrs. Stone!
Sam Stone: Go ahead! Give the order!
Ken Kessler: She's a dead woman if he doesn't!
Sam Stone: (pulls out a gun and points it at Ken's chin) All right... drop it! Punk! (Ken lets go of the briefcase when a nearby payphone rings. Sam takes the briefcase and goes to answer the phone)
Sam Stone: (into the phone) Hello?
Lt. Bender: (into the phone) This is Lieutenant Bender. What are you doing?
Sam Stone: What does it look like? I'm taking back my money! You've got your man. The rest is your problem!
Lt. Bender: Mr. Stone, you may be guilty of obstruction of justice, aiding and abetting a known felon, accomplished a kidnapping and possibly murder. If you really want to clear yourself, my advice to you is to drop your gun and give him back the bag. We have 140 police officers, 75 police cars and two helicopters. I promise you, he WON'T get away!

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