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Planes Trains and Automobiles quotes

Susan Page: You shared a motel room with a complete stranger? Are you crazy?
Neal: Not yet. But I'm getting there.

Neal: Del, what are you still doing here? Why aren't you going home?
Del: I don't have a home. Marie died eight years ago.

Del: Six bucks and my right nut says we're not landing in Chicago.

Del: What?
Neal: You know go***** well what!
Del: I'm sorry I don't
Neal: I had over 700 dollars in here.
Del: I didn't touch your dough Neal. I'm a lot of things but I'm not a thief.
Neal: Well you went into my stuff last night right?
Del: I didn't take your money! and I don't care for the accusation.
Neal: Well I had over 700 dollars in here and you went into my wallet for pizza. Just maybe when you went into my stuff you had to...
Del: (Places his wallet on the table) Count it!
Neal: Oh like you keep it in there if you stole it.
Del: There's 263 dollars in there. If there's a dollar more then you can call me a thief. Just count it.
Neal: (finds Del's wallet empty as wel) Empty.
Del: WHAT? (Looks thru his wallet)
Del: We were robbed!
Neal: (Sarcastically) Do you think so?

Del: You know I had a feeling that when we parted ways. We would somehow wind up back together again. I've never seen a guy get picked up by his testicles before. Lucky thing for you that cop passed by when he did. Otherwise, you'd be lifting up your schnutz to tie you shoes. I'm sorry. That's terrible. Do you have any idea how glad I am I didn't kill you?
Neal: (high voice) Do you have any idea how glad I'd be if you had?
Del: Oh, come on, pal, you don't mean that. Remember what I said about going with the flow?
Neal: How am I supposed to go with the flow when the rental car agency leaves me in a 100 acre parking lot with keys to a car that isn't there then I have to hike back 3 miles to find out they don't have any more cars?
Del: I got a car, no sweat at all.
Neal: Well Del, you're a charmed man.
Del: Nope.
Neal: Oh, I know. You just go with the flow.
Del: Like a twig on the shoulders of a mighty stream.

Del: (speaking to self while sitting in the car while it snows) Well Marie, once again my dear, you where as right as rain. I am, with out a doubt, the biggest pain in the bu** that ever came down the pike. I meet someone who's company I really enjoy, and what do I do? I go overboard. I smother the poor soul. I cause him more trouble than he has a right to. God, I got a big mouth. When am I ever gonna wake up? I wish you were here with me right now. But... I guess that's not gonna happen. Not now, anyway.

Neal: Sir?... Sir?... Sir? (runs to man)
Neal: Excuse me. I know this is your cab, but I'm desperately late for a plane, and I was wondering if I could appeal to your good nature and ask you to let me have it.
New York Lawyer: I don't have a good nature. Excuse me. Cabbie, come on.
Neal: I'll offer you 10 dollars for it.
New York Lawyer: (scoffs) Nuh!
Neal: Okay, 20! I'll give you 20 dollars.
New York Lawyer: I'll take 50.
Neal: (Neal pauses, then begins to take money out) All right.
New York Lawyer: Anyone who'd pay 50 dollars for a cab, would certainly pay 75.
Neal: Not necessarily... (reluctantly agreeing)
Neal: All right. $75. You're a thief!
New York Lawyer: Close, I'm an attorney.
Neal: Have a happy holiday.
New York Lawyer: This'll help!

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