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Nothing in Common quotes

Max Basner: That was something we all had in common... your grandfather, me, you. We always knew had to talk a girl into bed.
David Basner: I'm glad you still can.
Max Basner: I can't. I can't do it anymore.

Charlie Gargas: At the end, I had my father in a nursing home. I gave him the best doctors in Illinois. He was a little senile... not much. I never spent much time with him. I was too busy. Finally, when I got around to seeing him, he didn't recognize me. Till the day he died, he didn't know who the hell I was.
David Basner: Here I thought you were the perfect son, Charlie.
Charlie Gargas: No. They told me there was only one of those guys. Listen, you take care of what you've got to take care of. I'll take care of Woolridge.

David Basner: Mom, why don't you put on your shoes and come out of the cage? How many guys have said that to their mothers?

David Basner: I'm just protecting my ba***, just as, I'm sure, at one time or another, you have protected your own

Max Basner: I lost my lines. They fired me.
David Basner: (David gets out of his Jeep and walks around angrily for a few moments, then gets back in the car) What are you gonna do?
Max Basner: I know you hate me. But you have to help me.

Max Basner: Your best friend is your di**.
David Basner: Now where did I learn that? Your best friend is *your* di**.
Max Basner: Great, maybe the four of us can get together and have lunch.

Donna Mildred Martin: The only advice my Mom ever gave me was, "Don't live in the same city as your parents."
David Basner: What crappy advice. I can't get my parents to move.

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