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Norbit quotes

Rasputia: What is this Norbit?
Norbit: Some kind of deformed potato?
Rasputia: Umm umm. Whats this?
Norbit: The satanic acid we use at the construction site.
Rasputia: (stomps) Right! And this is miss little pretty little things face. And Norbit if you ever see her again, if you ever talk to her again, if you ever so much as think about the bi*** again, this is what's gon happen to her. (pours satanic acid on potato and potato dissolves)
Rasputia: how YOU doin? Get the picture Norbit?

Rasputia: Hell to the no!

Rasputia: (after seeing Norbit trying to go out, she yells at him) NORBIT!
Norbit: Oh! Rasputia! Good Morning, Rasputia! How are you this morning?
Rasputia: Where the hell you going?
Norbit: Oh, ummmm... I was just going to Raging Waters.

Preacher: (resumes the ceremony) Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...
Norbit: I object! (congregation gasps and murmurs)
Preacher: (frustrated) Oh, for Christ sake!
Mr. Wong: (pleased) Norbit.
Pope Sweet Jesus: (cheers) Norbit!
Kate Thomas: (surprised) Norbit!
Norbit: This wedding's a sham and I'm here to stop it.
Kate Thomas: Norbit, what are you doing?
Norbit: I'm bein' a man for the first time in my life. Kate... Kate, I love you.
Rasputia: (Rasputia, Big Jack, and Earl stormed into the church) What the hell did you just say?
Norbit: You heard what I said, strumpet! I love Kate! That right. I love you, Kate. And the last two weeks I spent with you have meant more to me than my entire miserable life with you, Rasputia! It's over! Norbit Albert Rice is no longer your bi***!

Rasputia: Go over and get another wine cooler. It's hot as hell out here. Don't you see I'm sweltering?
Norbit: Rasputia, you can't drink wine.
Rasputia: Why the hell not?
Norbit: You're with child.
Rasputia: With child? I ain't with no... Oh. Oh, that was... I had gas. I still got it.
Rasputia: (farts) There's your child. Now go get me something to drink.
Rasputia: (farts again) Twins!

Pope Sweet Jesus: The wrapper says 'Ribbed for her pleasure' but turn it inside out and it's ribbed for YOUR pleasure

Mr. Wong: WHALE HO!
Rasputia: Did somebody just call me a whale?
Mr. Wong: Yeah! And a ho!

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