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Mrs Doubtfire quotes

Daniel: Newspaper? Are you taking one of those personal ads: DWF seeks WWM with BMW into light B&D?

Mrs. Doubtfire: Can you help me with something, I found this outside. (holds up Mercedes hood ornament)
Stu: Uh, yes, this is off my, uh, Mercedes.
Mrs. Doubtfire: Off your Mercedes, dear, you own that big expensive car out there? Oh, dear. Well, they say a man who has to buy a big car like that is trying to compensate for smaller genitals.

Lydie: I just want to apologize for being such a pain today.
Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh, dear, it's all right.
Lydie: No, I'm - I'm really sorry. It's just, I'm still kind of messed up about everything.
Mrs. Doubtfire: We all are, sweetie.
Lydie: What?
Mrs. Doubtfire: I just mean I understand the pain you're all going through.
Lydie: Yeah. Well, I also wanted to thank you.
Mrs. Doubtfire: For what?
Lydie: For making my mom so happy.
Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh... (chuckles)
Lydie: She hasn't been in this good a mood since... I can't even remember. It's been a long time.

Miranda: Are you OK?
Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh, I thought I saw Clint Eastwood, that would make my day! He is such a stud muffin!

Daniel: (talking about his apartment) I was going kind of a refugee motif. You know, "fleeing my homeland" kind of thing. But look at you. This lovely Dances With Wolves motif. What's your Indian name, Shops With A Fist?
Miranda: Are my children ready yet?
Daniel: No, *our* children are not ready yet.

Jonathan Lundy: Daniel?
Daniel: Hmm?
Jonathan Lundy: Are you wearing ladies' perfume?
Daniel: Yes, I am.
Jonathan Lundy: Are you wearing lipstick?
Daniel: Yeah.
Jonathan Lundy: Why?
Daniel: It rubbed off.
Jonathan Lundy: From whom?
Daniel: (he pauses, trying to come up with an answer) Girl I used to date. She's a waitress.
Jonathan Lundy: A waitress? Here?
Daniel: Oh, yeah. On the way to the bathroom... couldn't keep her hands off me.
Jonathan Lundy: You dog.
Daniel: (sniggers) You scallywag!

Daniel: I got off early.
Lydie: You mean you got fired?
Daniel: No, I quit. For reasons of conscience.
Lydie: Actors.
Daniel: (to Chris) Hey, dude! Congratulations on your twelfth birthday, all right! Got a surprise for you!
Chris: Ooh, a stripper?
Daniel: No, please!
Chris: *Two* strippers?
Daniel: Haw, boy!

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