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Mr. and Mrs. Smith quotes

Jane Smith: We re-did the house.

John Smith: (during a car chase) I never told you, but I was married once before.
Jane Smith: (slams on the brakes)
John Smith: What's wrong with you?
Jane Smith: (hitting John) You're what's wrong with me John.
John Smith: It was just a drunken Vegas thing.
Jane Smith: Oh, that's better. That's *much* better. (pause)
Jane Smith: What's her name and social security number?
John Smith: No, you're not gonna kill her.

John Smith: Option A: You talk, we listen, no pain. Option B: You don't talk, I remove your thumbs with my pliers, it will hurt. Option C: I like to vary the details a bit but the punchline is... you die.

Jane Smith: There's nowhere I'd rather be than here with you.

Eddie: Did you get a look at him?
John Smith: Little thing. Buck ten, buck fifteen tops.
Eddie: Maybe he was Filipino!
John Smith: I'm not even sure it was a him.
Eddie: You saying you had your as* handed to you by some girl?
John Smith: I think so. A pro.

Benjamin: (while in the middle of the desert) Oh, look. More desert.

John Smith: I realise you witnessed the Mrs. and I working through a few domestic issues. That's regrettable but don't take that to be a sign of weakness, that would be a mistake on your part. (Jane is drumming her fingers impatiently)
John Smith: Honey!
Jane Smith: Wrap it up.
John Smith: Maybe it's not such a good idea to undermine me in front of the hostage - sends a mixed message.
Jane Smith: Sorry.
John Smith: Girls. Where was I?
Benjamin: Mistake on your part.
John Smith: Shut up.

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