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Greg's a male nurse.
It's beautiful... what is it?
It's an altar; or you might call it a HHH... Chupah?
Greg, how come you don't like cats?
I don't not like cats. I-I just - I just prefer dogs. I mean, I'm just more of a dog kind of, you know. Come home, wagging their little tails, happy to see you kind of...
You need that assurance, do you? You prefer an emotionally shallow animal?
You see, Greg, when you yell at a dog, his tail will go between his legs and cover his genitals, his ears will go down. A dog is very easy to break, but cats make you work for their affection. They don't sell out the way dogs do.
I'm sorry, sir, you're gonna have to check that.
I got it.
No, I'm sorry, that bag won't fit.
No, no, I'm not - hey, I'm not checking my bag, okay?
There's no need to raise your voice, sir.
I'm not raising my voice. THIS WOULD BE RAISING MY VOICE TO YOU, okay? I don't want to check my bag, okay? And, by the way, your airline? You SUCK at checking bags, okay, because I already did that once and you lost it, and then I had everything screwed up very badly for me, okay?
Well, I can assure you that your bag will be placed safely below deck with the other luggage...
Oh, yeah? How do you know my bag will be safe below with the other luggage? Huh? Are you physically going to take my bag and put it beneath the plane? Are you going to go right now outside, with the guys with the earmuffs, and go put it in there?
No? Okay, then shut your piehole and listen to me when I say that I am FINISHED with the checking-of-the-bags CONVERSATION.
Hey, listen, be nice to this one, okay? I kinda like him.
What are you driving there? Ford?
Yeah it's a Taurus. Yeah, we were going to get a mid-size, but I figure, hey, we pull down decent bucks. Might as well go all out, and pop for the full-size.
Sure. Interesting color. You pick it?
Oh, no, the guy at the counter. Why?
Well, they say geniuses pick green. But you didn't pick it.
Greg honey, how are you doing?
Oh great, considering I desecrated your Grandma's remains, found out you were engaged, and had your father ask me to milk him.
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