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Lemony Snickets A Series of Unfortunate Events quotes

Violet Baudelaire: Dinner is served. Puttanesca.
Count Olaf: What did you call me?
Klaus Baudelaire: It's pasta... Pasta Puttanesca.
Count Olaf: Where's the roast beef?
Klaus Baudelaire: Roast beef?
Count Olaf: Beef, yes. Roast beef. It's the Swedish term for beef that is roasted!

Count Olaf: (through closed front door, after bell rings) In-trude!

Violet Baudelaire: Are you okay?
Klaus Baudelaire: No.

Lemony Snicket: (narrating) If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels; and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it.

Klaus Baudelaire: (conceerning Olaf's evil plot) He tried to kill us!
Mr. Poe: Now let's not exagerrate Klaus. The vehicle was not even in gear.

The Detective: (to Violet) Little girl, the big cage door is open. No snake. Dead guy. You know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking, "Who woke me up at nine in the morning for this?"

Count Olaf: (to the crowd) This certificate says that I have the fortune now! And there's nothing you can do about it! (aside to Violet)
Count Olaf: What do you think? Too diabolical? Give me some feedback!

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