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Knocked Up quotes

Pete: I'm gonna throw you in my DeLorean and gun it to 88.
Ben Stone: (Mimicks car noise) VRRROOOOM

Jonah: I can't believe you didn't fu***** wear a bag, WHO DOES THAT?
Jason: Why did we go to Costco and buy a year's supply of condoms if you weren't gonna use 'em, man?
Jonah: I can't believe you did this. You fu**** everything up.
Jason: The real point is not to get yourself into this position, that's what you have to realize. You gotta know all the tricks like, for example, if a woman's on top she can't get pregnant. It's just gravity.
Jonah: Well that's true. Everyone knows that.
Jason: What goes up must come down.

Ben Stone: I live in your phone!

Debbie: (on subject of husbands) You criticize them so much, they get down on themselves, and then they're forced to change!

Ben Stone: What time is it?
Alison Scott: 7:30
Ben Stone: Why the fu** are we awake? Let's go back to sleep.
Alison Scott: I have to go to work.
Ben Stone: Really?
Alison Scott: Uh, do you need to... get to work or anything?
Ben Stone: No, I'm uh... no work today hahahaha.

Ben's Dad: I love you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me.
Ben Stone: I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Ben's Dad: Yes.
Ben Stone: Now I'm starting to feel a little sorry for YOU...

Alison Scott: I love your curly hair! It's great... do you use product or anything?
Ben Stone: No... I use, uh, jew it's called.

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