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Kingsman The Secret Service quotes

Arthur: Can you guess... (pulls the pen clip back)
Arthur: ... what this is?
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: I don't have to. Harry showed me. You click it, I die. I thought that brandy tasted a bit sh**.
Arthur: Bravo.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Valentine won you over, somehow.
Arthur: Once he explained, I understood. (Flashback to Arthur's meeting with Valentine)
Valentine: When you get a virus, you get a fever. That's the human body raising its core temperature to kill the virus. Planet Earth works the same way: Global warming is the fever, mankind is the virus. We're making our planet sick. A cull is our only hope. If we don't reduce our population ourselves, there's only one of two ways this can go: The host kills the virus, or the virus kills the host. Either way... (Back to Eggsy and Arthur's conversation)
Arthur: The result is the same: The virus dies.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: So Valentine's gonna take care of the population problem himself.
Arthur: Well if we don't do something, nature will. Sometimes, a culling is the only way to ensure that the species survives. And history will see Valentine as the man who saved humanity from extinction.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: And he gets to pick and choose who gets culled, does he? All his rich mates, they get to live. And then when he thinks it's worth saving, he keeps them safe, whether they agree with him or not.
Arthur: And you, Eggsy. In Harry's honor, I am inviting you to be part of a new world. It's time to make your decision. (Long pause)
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: I'd rather be with Harry. Thanks.
Arthur: So be it. (Arthur points the fountain pen and engages the poison. After a few seconds, nothing happens to Eggsy. Arthur suddenly convulses)
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: The problem with us common types is, that we are light-fingered. Kingsman's taught me a lot, but sleight of hand... (Flashback shows Eggsy swapping glasses while Arthur is not looking)
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: I had that done already.
Arthur: You dirty... little fu***** pr***... (Arthur slumps to his death. Eggsy then takes the pen and cuts open the scar behind Arthur's ear to extract the transponder)

Waiter: Would sir care for a drink?
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Martini. Gin, not vodka, obviously. Stirred for 10 seconds while glancing at an unopened bottle of vermouth. Thank you.

Valentine: You didn't (pause)
Valentine: sh**!

Princess Tilde: (In a thick, Swedish accent) If you save the world, We can do it in the as*****.

Harry Hart: (after eating McDonald's food with Valentine) Thank you for such a 'happy' meal.

Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Who the fu** are you? Where am I?
The Interrogator: This knife can save your life. (Eggsy suddenly notices a train approaching)
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: fu**!
The Interrogator: My employer's got two questions for you, Eggsy. What the fu** is Kingsman? And who is Harry Hart?
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: I don't know who the fu** that is! sh**!
The Interrogator: Oh, Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends who gave me the same bullshit answer!
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: fu**! Just cut the fu***** ropes, please!
The Interrogator: Hey, Eggsy, is Kingsman worth dying for?
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: fu** yeah! (Train passes over Eggsy. He discovers that the section dropped down before impact. Hart arrives at the scene)
Harry Hart: Congratulations. bl**** well done.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: How'd the others do?
Harry Hart: Roxy passed with flying colours. Charlie's up next. Want to watch?
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Yeah. Alright.

Gazelle: (From trailer) Looks like a lot of people are going to die.
Valentine: (From Trailer) Do I look like I give a F***?

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