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King Ralph quotes

Sir Cedric Willingham: Your majesty, may I present the Sovereign King Mulamboa of Zambezi.
Ralph Jones: (seeing that the king is black, using a Eubonics dialect) Hey, homes! Whas happenin'! Gimme quintet, brother!
King Mulamboa: I do not comprehend, Your Majesty!
Ralph Jones: Uh, welcome, Your Majesty. On behalf of the people of the United Kingdom... (uncomfortable silence)
Ralph Jones: Uh, do you wanna go get a beer?

Sir Cedric Willingham: It's I who should be thanking you. You showed me how to be a king.
Ralph Jones: Me? I was a lousy king.
Sir Cedric Willingham: On the contrary. You are a good and decent man, and you've acted honorably. I shall try to follow your example.
Ralph Jones: Thank you, Ced.

Hale: (Ralph has referred to Princess Anna as a 'fox') I'm glad you find her so. Best wishes in your fox hunting.
King Gustav: Fox hunting? You like fox hunting, yes.
Ralph Jones: Well, I don't get out much lately. But I used to go out almost every evening. One club or another.
King Gustav: Really? That often? You must have collected several tails.
Ralph Jones: (shocked) Well, I admit I slept with a few. But I'm not like that anymore. Nowadays you can't be too careful. You don't know who they've been with.
King Gustav: No, I suppose not.
Ralph Jones: Yeah, once I got a steady girl, that put an end to it.
King Gustav: She did not like fox hunting?
Ralph Jones: Of course not! Anna's not into it, is she?
King Gustav: Oh, yes! She loves it! Most royals do.

Lord Percival Graves: (after Ralph accuses him of undermining him) This is an OUTRAGE! A VILE piece af slander! I demand to know the source of these allegations!
Ralph Jones: We have the signed confession of a royal page, Gordon Halliwell, who worked with Lord Graves.
Lord Percival Graves: I know no such man!
Ralph Jones: And several cheques made out to the photographers who took the pictures, signed by Lord Graves. Whose fingerprints were also on the photographs.
Lord Percival Graves: So! I saw them at the ball!
Ralph Jones: And Scotland Yard found the negatives at his house this morning.
Lord Percival Graves: (realizes he's been caught) By what right can you order my arrest!
Ralph Jones: By the Treason Act of 1702 forbidding interference in the proper succesion of a monarch. Enacted by... (pause, as he recites the Order of the Kings poem to himself)
Ralph Jones: William III!
Dysentery: That's right! String him up! wa****!

Sir Cedric Willingham: It is far easier to whisper advice from behind the scenes rather than risk its merit at the point of attack.

Phipps: Sir Cedric! Sir Cedric! Good news. We've finally found an heir!
Sir Cedric Willingham: That's wonderful, Duncan. Who is he?
Phipps: His name is Jones. Ralph Jones.
Sir Cedric Willingham: A good man?
Phipps: (embarrassed) Well. He has his strengths and his weaknesses. You see, he's (uncomfortable pause)
Phipps: American.
Sir Cedric Willingham: Quickly, Duncan! The strengths!

Ralph Jones: There's no problem that can't be ignored if we really put our minds to it.

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