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Jarhead quotes

D.I. Fitch: Jesus, Joseph and doggy-style Mary!

Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: You poor ba*****. I bet your recruiter promised you a whole wide world of pu***, huh?
Kruger: fu****' eh. co******** knew the price of every wh*** from Olangapo to Stockholm.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: And here we are, headed to the desert - no pu*** and a thousand miles.
Kruger: fu**** by the green weenie again!
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Well, what would you be doing if you were a civilian? Staying up late, jacking off, playing Metroid - trying to get to that ninth level?
Troy: You know what happens when you get there? (laughs)
Troy: Nothing. You just start all over again.

Staff Sgt. Sykes: (Sgt. Sykes is directing the recruits on how to judge distances) You take what you know, and then you multiply. Please don't use your dicks. They're too small, and I can't count that high. I don't wanna hear, "400,000 inches."

Reporter: Are you scared?
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Look, I am twenty years old was and I was dumb enough to sign a contract. I can hear their fu***** bombs already. I can hear their bombs and I'm fu***** scared, yeah.

Troy: We're the leopards... the lions. Those who will take our place will be jackals... hyenas - and all us leopards, lions, jackals, and sheep will go on thinking ourselves the salt of the earth.

Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: (Swoff and Fergus are disassembling and reassembling their rifles in their tent. Cortez is sitting a few bunks down, messing with his radio) What would you say if I told you I was gonna kill you for fu***** me over like that?
Fergus: I already told you, it was an accident.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: An accident. Right. Like when the trigger slips. Of course, your nice little mom and dad are where?
Fergus: Cottonwood Falls.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Cottonwood Falls. They'll be sad. THey won't have their little boy to send fu***** cookies to. I'll say it was an accidental discharge. I might spend some time in the brig... but it'll end this fu***** waiting. And I don't knwo what it's like to kill a man. (loads rifle and points it at Fergus)
Fergus: What are you doing?
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: I'm in the firing position known as the sitting position. After the prone position, it is the platform most likely to enable a Marine to effectivley kill his target. His target being a human, generally an enemy but sometimes a friend or friendly. We call this frinedly fire, or friendly fu***** or getting friendly fu****.
Fergus: Come on Swoff, it was your watch! It was Christmans Eve, and I was just thinking about home. That's it.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: What do you think Cortez? You think I'll accidentally kill your homeboy from boot camp?
Cortez: Sure you'll kill him. Accidents happen.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: You don't see sh** right?
Cortez: I don't see sh**. This ain't even my tent. Matter of fact, I ain't even here, Swoff. (exits tent)

Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Sir, the Drill Instructor looks fabulous in his uniform, sir!

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