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Hitch quotes

Albert: (to Egon) What was your name, Eggnog?

Albert: You can't stop it... (shouts)
Albert: You cannot stop it...

Chip: I noticed your glass was getting a little low so I took the liberty of bringing you another apple martini.
Sara: (bemused) Thank you.
Chip: And I couldn't help but notice... you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
Sara: What's your name?
Chip: They call me Chip.
Sara: Aww, you can't get them to stop?
Chip: (laughs) That was funny.
Sara: Listen, Chip, I understand the courage it takes to walk across a room and try to generate a relationship out of thin air, so don't take the following personally...
Chip: You have fantastic eyes.
Sara: (chuckles) Thanks, try to listen. I... uh, this is no reflection on you, I'm just not interested. But thank you for the compliment of coming over.
Chip: You're welcome. So, do you like Cuban food?
Sara: Chip, seriously, that wasn't code for "I wish you'd try harder".
Chip: Are you always so shut down and afraid? That the right man might make you feel...
Hitch: (puts a hand on Chip's shoulder) ... Feel like a natural woman? (laughs)
Hitch: Sorry, I'm late, honey, I couldn't get a cab. How was the meeting?
Sara: Ooh. Well, there was a beginning, a middle... and an end. Nice to meet you, Chip.
Chip: (stands up to walk away) You, too.

Hitch: Get out.

Hitch: Basic principles: no woman wakes up saying, "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!" Now, she might say, "This is a really bad time for me," or something like, "I just need some space," or my personal favorite, "I'm really into my career right now." You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? Because she's lying to you, that's why. You understand me? Lying! It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she's really saying is, "Uh, get away from me now," or possibly, "Try harder, stupid." But which one is it? Sixty percent of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; thirty percent is your tone. So that means that ninety percent of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth. Of course she's going to lie to you! She's a nice person. She doesn't want to hurt your feelings. What else she going to say? She doesn't even know you... yet. Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it, and that's where I come in. My job is to open her eyes. Basic principles: no matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. He just needs the right broom.

Hitch: One dance, one look, one kiss, that's all we get, Albert. Just *one shot* to make the difference between happily-ever-after, and oh-he's-just-some-guy-I-went-to-some-thing-with-once.

Hitch: (Hitch showed Sara where her great-great-grandfather Juan signed into Ellis Island, and she ran out the door crying) I'm really sorry. When I saw him on the computer, it said "The Butcher of Cadíz." I thought it was a profession, not a headline.

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