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Lines and quotes from the movie Grumpy Old Men. Check out our collection of dialogues and quotes from the film Grumpy Old Men and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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Grumpy Old Men quotes

Ariel Truax: Gay or straight?
John Gustafson: Huh?
Ariel Truax: Heterosexual or homosexual?
John Gustafson: Geez Louise!
Ariel Truax: Well, it's a perfectly legitimate question.
John Gustafson: Well, maybe in California, but here in Minnesota... Who-ho-ho-ho!

Max Goldman: Who's the guy yakkin' at your door?
John Gustafson: Just mind your own business, will ya?
Max Goldman: Mind your own business, will ya? Mind your own business. Why don't you tie your shoelace, you'll fall on your stupid head.

Max Goldman: She chose me, and anyone who says different is a da** liar!

Max Goldman: You know what Jacob said? Jacob said old Billy Hensel was killed in a car crash. Cleared his car straight off the bridge into the Mississippi.
John Gustafson: Lucky ba*****.
Max Goldman: You bet.
John Gustafson: Hey, how is he, anyway?
Max Goldman: Dead! Died on impact!
John Gustafson: Jacob, moron, Jacob!

Grandpa Gustafson: Drop that fish!

Grandpa Gustafson: (after a swig of an alcoholic beverage) Breakfast.

Max Goldman: Do me a favor. Put your lip over your head... and swallow.

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